9 Insights Gained from 9 Years of Raising Boys

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Growing up, the idea of boys was completely alien to me. Having been raised by a single mom alongside my sister, our home was a constant whirlwind of girl power. Sure, I had a few male friends throughout school, but for the most part, my closest companion has always been my husband, Jake. He came into my life when we were young, and he helped me see that boys aren’t just rambunctious troublemakers; they have their moments of tenderness too.

When I first discovered I was pregnant with a boy, I was taken aback. I felt totally unprepared for the adventure of raising a little boy, worried I’d make a million mistakes along the way. Fast forward to now, and the experience of raising my two boys has been nothing short of a thrilling journey. My oldest son, Leo, will be turning 9 soon, which both amazes and fills me with pride. His unique personality has shown me just how endearing “boyishness” can be.

Here’s what I’ve learned in my nine years of raising boys:

1. Aim Matters! The first lesson I learned was to keep my baby boy’s penis pointing downward in his diaper. Let me tell you, if you don’t, you might end up with a surprised shower of pee! Once toddlers discover how to reach into their diapers, all bets are off. I can’t tell you how many middle-of-the-night surprises I’ve had to clean up!
2. Penises are Resilient. I often found myself asking Jake, “Is it really okay for him to do that to his penis?” His answer was always a reassuring yes, even when I was convinced our boys were testing the limits with pulling and twisting.
3. Boys Cry Too. Contrary to the stereotype that boys are tough, they cry over both minor and major issues. It’s essential to validate their feelings and let them know it’s perfectly okay to express sadness. Encouraging emotional expression can actually make them stronger and more secure.
4. Energy Levels Are Off the Charts. While I know energetic girls exist, boys seem to have an extra gear. If my boys are cooped up indoors for too long, they start bouncing off the walls. It’s exhausting, yet utterly hilarious to witness their antics (as long as we avoid any broken bones!).
5. Toys Don’t Define Gender. I never imposed any restrictions on what toys my boys could enjoy. Early on, both of them gravitated toward pink and purple toys, and you know what? It was adorable! While they eventually leaned toward more traditional boy toys, I loved that they started off without any preconceived notions.
6. Bathroom Cleanup is Endless. Just when I thought potty training would mean less mess, I learned that boys have a knack for missing the toilet. This is a common issue, and I even polled friends on Facebook to find out I’m not alone! Teaching them to aim is one thing, but let’s just say it doesn’t always work smoothly.
7. Not All Boys Are the Same. I assumed having boys meant constant mud play and fart jokes, but surprise! Not all boys are into that. My sons are quite particular and prefer to keep clean, which is not what I expected at all.
8. Boys Can Be Sweet. My younger son, Max, is an incredibly kind-hearted little guy. Even at just 3 years old, he can sense when I’m feeling down and comes over to comfort me. It’s heartwarming to see that boys can be just as loving and compassionate as girls.
9. Raising a Man. I eventually realized that I’m not just raising boys; I’m raising future men. This realization has made me appreciate the importance of my role in shaping kind, respectful, and emotionally intelligent individuals. The world needs more good men, and it starts at home.

While many say that boys have a special bond with their moms, I think it goes deeper than that. Our differences create a unique connection, allowing us to learn and grow together. Yes, my boys can drive me a little crazy sometimes—like when they leap off furniture or insist on wrestling at the most inconvenient times—but I know they respect me and value our relationship.

Raising my sons has been a journey like no other, filled with challenges and joys. Every day, I am grateful for these two amazing boys and the lessons they teach me.

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Summary

Over the past nine years of parenting two boys, I’ve learned invaluable lessons about their emotional depth, energetic nature, and the importance of nurturing their individuality. From understanding their needs to embracing the challenges of boyhood, this journey has been fulfilling and enlightening.