Hey there, my kiddo,
I need to start with a little heads-up. I might get a bit sappy here, and if you’re reading this, I can almost hear you groaning and making that silly fake throwing-up sound before you switch gears to your favorite video game.
But sometimes, a mom has to jot down her thoughts for her child to read later—much later, maybe years or decades down the line—when you might wonder what was going through my mind while I was crafting yet another peanut butter and jelly sandwich for you.
So, let’s dive in.
Let’s Talk About Love
Let’s talk about love, specifically a mother’s love. The moment they placed you in my arms, I was hit with a wave of love like nothing I’d ever experienced before. You were breathtaking, utterly perfect, and I felt the immense weight of the responsibility to keep you safe. The love I felt for you was both exhilarating and overwhelming.
Now you’re almost 9, and it feels like time’s flying by. That intense, hormonal, sleep-deprived love I had for you back then has mellowed a bit, but my feelings for you? Still as strong as ever.
Every moment with you has been a first—my first child, your first giggle, your first tantrum, your first day of school. Each milestone is a shared experience, and I’m learning right alongside you.
Parenting Differences
I’ve noticed how my parenting style differs between you and your little brother. With him, I’ve been through it all before. I know he’ll eventually sleep through the night and will one day ditch the diapers. But with you, every new phase brings fresh questions. You’re in a stage where spitting on my cheek when I try to kiss you goodnight is a thing—I found it hilarious, but I wasn’t sure if I should talk to you about respect or just roll with it.
Just the other day, you expressed a desire to quit sports and do nothing after school. I wasn’t sure if I should push you to stay active or respect your wishes. I chose to listen, but it’s moments like these that fill me with uncertainty. Even just recently, when you had a meltdown over homework, I worried there was something wrong with you (or maybe me) because it felt like a toddler tantrum from a big kid.
I know you’re moving through phases, and I have to remind myself that most of my worries are just signs of your growth. When you test my patience, you’re just exploring your boundaries and grappling with feelings that can be confusing even for you.
Open Communication
If there’s one thing I want you to take to heart, it’s this: No matter how twisted or scary your emotions seem, you can always share them with me. I love you when you’re upset or acting out. I might set limits sometimes, but I hope I’ve never made you feel ashamed of your feelings.
Sure, I’ve made my share of mistakes—some pretty big ones. But please know that every decision I’ve made has been rooted in love. As my firstborn, you are my grand adventure. Am I guiding you without stifling your spirit? Am I making mistakes that you’ll forgive? Have I got the courage to let you discover yourself, even as that changes over time?
Letting You Spread Your Wings
Bit by bit, I’m learning to let you spread your wings. It’s a subtle process that you might not notice yet, but our time together is limited. Those cozy nights we spend chatting in your bed, sharing your school stories, dreams, and fears will eventually come to an end.
When I realize you’re nearly halfway to 18, it hits me hard. Sure, there’s that familiar fear of you someday leaving home, but there’s also overwhelming joy. I still marvel at the fact that I created you, that you came from me, and I can hardly believe how fast you’ve grown from a tiny tot to a big kid, soon to be a tween.
I feel incredibly lucky to have you in my life.
Alright, kiddo, that’s all for now. Thanks for indulging me. And I promise I’ll give you my full attention when you want to talk about Minecraft or Super Mario Bros.—I’ll do my best!
Love you lots,
Mom
P.S. If you’re curious about more topics related to parenting and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on IUI or take a look at this informative piece on home insemination kits.
Summary
This heartfelt letter captures a mother’s deep affection for her firstborn child, sharing the unique journey of parenting and the challenges that come with it. It reflects on love, growth, and the bittersweet nature of watching her child grow up while ensuring open communication about feelings and emotions.