My partner, Alex, has been feeling under the weather lately. Just yesterday, he decided to take a day off work, spending most of it curled up on the couch, buried beneath a mountain of tissues. He looked pretty miserable, and to his credit, he didn’t once complain about his symptoms or ask me to check if he was running a fever. I knew he was sick, but there was no dramatic flair about it—this wasn’t our first time around the block.
I felt a strange mixture of pride and irritation. Why was I feeling this nagging annoyance creeping up my spine like an itch I couldn’t reach?
The day began with me juggling breakfast for the kids, packing their lunches, washing the dishes that had piled up overnight, and yelling “Why haven’t you brushed your teeth yet?!” for what felt like the millionth time. As I rushed about, I caught myself thinking, “Must be nice to be cozy up there, Alex.” Where did that come from?
After dropping off my son at school, I returned to find Alex still wrapped in his blankets on the couch, his iPad glowing softly beside him. I couldn’t help but think, Must be nice to be sick. Really? Who even thinks like that?
As I sat at my desk working, Alex shuffled by a few times, looking disheveled and pitiful on his way to grab more medicine or reheat leftovers. Each time, he gave me that look—the one that silently pleaded for sympathy. But in that moment, I was completely devoid of it.
My feelings only grew more intense after lunch, as I folded laundry while he binge-watched episodes of his favorite shows. I found myself wondering, “Will he take a day off next time I’m sick so I can actually rest?” That’s when it hit me: I was just plain jealous. Jealous that he could take a sick day when I never seem to get that luxury.
My husband made it to the dinner table later on, and thankfully, my mood had improved since the kids had settled down. As we took turns telling silly jokes, laughter filled the air, and I nearly forgot my annoyance.
Toward the end of dinner, Alex reached over, placed a hand on my shoulder, and cleared his throat in a dramatic fashion. “Kids, listen up. We need to help Mommy out more; she does a lot for us!” His words struck a chord, and for a moment, I was touched enough to overlook my grievances.
There have been times when Alex has casually asked if I’ve done certain chores, and I could almost hear the unspoken question: “What do you even do all day?” Even after thirteen years together, I sometimes feel he doesn’t quite grasp what my day looks like. But yesterday, while he was “sick,” he really noticed.
Whether or not this will translate into him taking a day off the next time I’m under the weather remains to be seen. But I’m counting this as progress. Next time I’m sick, I’m planning to crawl back under the covers with some NyQuil and a good book, tossing the to-do list at him and saying, “You’re going to need to call in to work, honey!” If that works, maybe I can spare a little sympathy when he’s not feeling his best.
For those of you navigating similar waters, check out this article for some insights into home insemination. And if you’re looking for the best resources, American Pregnancy has some excellent info on donor insemination. Also, don’t forget to visit Make a Mom for the best home insemination kits!
In summary, feeling envious of your partner’s sick day might be a little petty, but it’s human. Balancing family responsibilities while being a work-from-home parent isn’t easy, and it’s okay to acknowledge how we feel. Let’s hope for a little more understanding and perhaps some shared sick days in the future!