10 Insights for Nurturing Kind Individuals

When I think about my approach to parenting, I realize I’ve chosen a more challenging route. For example, if my kids enter an elevator without acknowledging others, I give them “the look” followed by a brief talk about manners. Sure, I could easily overlook their lack of empathy and just give them a thumbs-up for their every move, but I can’t turn a blind eye to ingratitude or superficiality. Each day, I’m determined to maintain certain standards, hoping to raise compassionate individuals. Here are ten of my parenting principles that consume all my energy but aim to cultivate decent humans.

1. Facing Reality in Competition

I don’t sugarcoat things when my child loses a game. While I try to be gentle, it’s essential for them to understand that there will always be winners and losers in various situations. If you’re new to parenting, take a moment to explain this concept. And if you’re the type who gives every child a trophy, maybe rethink that approach.

2. Art with Standards

I’m not plastering every piece of artwork on the fridge. I appreciate the value of creativity, but I draw the line at half-hearted scribbles. Sometimes my daughter, Mia, will hand me a few doodles and expect them to be showcased like a masterpiece—not happening!

3. Birthday Party Vetting

Before I agree to let my kids attend a birthday party, I conduct a mini-interview. I ask questions like, “How long have you known the birthday kid?” and “Do you really want to buy them a gift?” The last one reveals if they’re genuinely excited about the party.

4. Food Choices

I don’t force food down their throats. I refuse to use ultimatums like, “If you don’t eat this, then…” I have a deep-rooted fear of my kids developing a dislike for food since I absolutely adore it. My rules are simple: this is what’s for dinner, and if they don’t like it, they can opt for a snack later.

5. Simple Lunches

I don’t engage in elaborate lunch packing. I admire those talented parents who create colorful, themed lunches, but that’s just not me. My kids’ lunch boxes won’t feature sandwiches shaped like cars—sorry, Charlie!

6. Screen Time Restrictions

We have designated “electronic bans” in our home to combat the dazed, zombie-like state my kids fall into. I choose specific times for these bans, and yes, I usually end up hiding in a corner while they argue about it.

7. Letting Imagination Run Wild

I don’t stop my boys from engaging in imaginative war games. My daughter plays with dolls, while my sons are busy with their pretend soldier scenarios. Our house is a delightful chaos of glitter and toy weapons!

8. Strategic Bribery

When my kids are acting out and guests are arriving, I find it effective to offer a little incentive. I remind them that if they mention it’s a bribe, the deal is off. They quickly learn it’s better to keep quiet and accept the reward.

9. Talking About Tough Topics

If the subject of death arises, I address it openly. For instance, when a celebrity passed away, my son had questions, and I believe it’s healthier to have these conversations rather than avoid them. Kids often appreciate this honesty.

10. Three-Minute Connection

I work hard on the “Three-Minute Law.” I once read that the first and last few minutes of a child’s day are crucial. By gently waking them and asking about their day, I noticed a positive change in their mood. It’s a small investment that pays off big time!

I’ve heard all sorts of theories about letting kids learn on their own, but I’ve encountered some seriously rude adults. So, I’ll keep giving my children a dose of reality mixed with love. One day, I hope they’ll reflect on these lessons and become kind, considerate individuals. Meanwhile, excuse me while I remind my ten-year-old why it’s not okay to order me around like a waitress!

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To summarize, raising kids can be challenging, but with clear principles and consistency, we can guide them to become decent human beings.