What does it mean to grow up as a young trans individual in America today? On Transgender Day of Visibility (TDoV), we gathered insights from the acclaimed author Jamie Lee and Alex, a parent featured in their national bestseller, “American Teenager: How Trans Kids Are Surviving Hate and Finding Joy in a Turbulent Era.” The discussion centered on the real experiences of growing up as trans and the challenges of parenting trans youth, as well as the impact of authentic storytelling in shaping a hopeful future.
Embracing Boredom, Complexity, and Authenticity
For an entire year, journalist Jamie Lee traveled across the country to connect with and document the lives of eight young trans individuals and their families. The result was a collection of heartwarming family dinners, movie nights, dance classes, and K-pop fan moments. Jamie aimed to showcase the stories of trans youth with the nuance often absent from mainstream narratives.
During our conversation, Jamie reminisced about an article they wrote featuring a transgender athlete in South Dakota. As they spoke, they discovered a shared love for the British shoegaze band, Slow Dive. Jamie expressed frustration that the article had to focus on discrimination rather than the simple joy of a shared interest. “It’s disheartening that the narrative is often ‘Trans Boy in South Dakota Fights Discrimination’ instead of just ‘Trans Boy Enjoys Music,’” they lamented. “Trans lives are multifaceted; they’re not solely defined by hardship.”
As Jamie points out in “American Teenager,” stories about LGBTQ+ individuals often oscillate between tragedy and triumph. However, it’s crucial to recognize the complexities of everyday life. “Some readers might find the book unexciting, and that’s perfectly fine,” Jamie remarked. “Sometimes trans kids lead ordinary lives, and it’s important for that to be acknowledged. They’re wonderful, funny, and relatable—just like anyone else.”
Supporting Trans Youth as Parents
Capturing the intricate reality of life as a trans person also meant highlighting the experiences of their families, particularly parents like Alex.
“I wanted parents to know they can embark on this journey and that it’s entirely possible,” Alex explained. “There’s immense pressure on parents to get everything right, and I wanted to convey that it’s okay to learn together. As Jamie beautifully puts it, we all have the capacity to learn. Listening is key, as you can’t learn if you’re not open to it.”
When asked about her advice for other parents, Alex echoed Jamie’s focus on the importance of understanding and acceptance. “You have to come to terms with the reality of your child’s life and support them fully. It was initially challenging for me because I worried that his journey would be more difficult. That thought breaks my heart daily. But being there for your child and seeking knowledge is crucial.”
The Transformative Power of Storytelling
Since its release in October 2024, “American Teenager” has earned national acclaim and recognition as a 2025 Stonewall Book Award honoree. Despite the positive reception, Alex admitted that sharing her family’s story was daunting. Initially, when Jamie reached out for an article, Alex and her son opted to use pseudonyms for their safety.
“It can be intimidating,” Alex shared. “Living in Alabama, many people don’t understand these experiences.”
However, Alex recognizes the significance of confronting these fears. “If we can positively impact even one life, that’s enough. Sure, reaching a thousand would be amazing, but it’s essential for people to meet trans youth and see the truth—that we’re not harmful. Ultimately, it’s about love and identity, and that shouldn’t be a threat to anyone.”
Jamie, whose writings have appeared in prominent publications like The Rolling Stone and The New York Times, discovered a new dimension of storytelling through this project: its potential for healing. “I realized that my work could serve as a therapeutic outlet for those who need it most,” they reflected. “We would engage in deep conversations, processing everything—the good, the bad, and everything in between.”
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In conclusion, the conversation with Jamie and Alex emphasized the need for compassion, understanding, and authentic representation of trans youth and their families. By sharing stories, we can foster a deeper awareness and pave the way for a more inclusive future.