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The Significance of a Living Will
It was an unusually chilly October morning when the unexpected call came in. My husband and I were greeted by the first frost of the season, making it too cold for our daughter to enjoy the playground. Instead of crunching through the leaves of the Pocono mountains, we opted for a warm breakfast at Perkins—chocolate chip pancakes for our little one and steaming coffee for us adults.
As we were finishing up, my husband’s phone buzzed. It was a call from his dad. He let it go to voicemail, but the moment we saw the notification, we sensed something was off. His father rarely leaves messages, so this had to be serious.
Stepping outside to return the call, my husband left me inside with our daughter, who was sneaking grapes and sipping coffee. When he came back, he shared the news: a family member had been hospitalized for a week, but thankfully, she was stable. However, there was more—a close friend of his brother, just 30 years old, had suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm. He underwent surgery but was now in a coma due to bleeding on his brain.
I felt my heart sink. I didn’t know this young man well—just through high school and a few family gatherings—but I was taken aback by the suddenness of it all. The truth is, I had a personal connection to this tragedy. My own father had died from a ruptured aneurysm when he was only 39, leaving behind a young widow and two small children.
It’s fascinating—and a bit unsettling—how our minds react in moments of crisis. Learning about this young man’s situation made me reflect on my own mortality. I’m not sick or facing any health issues, but I do have a family history of aneurysms, which adds a layer of worry. Just like him, I also have a spouse and a young child, making the reality of mortality feel much closer.
In times like these, I realized there are many things I would want to do if I were confronted with the prospect of dying. But one crucial task loomed large in my mind: I needed to create a living will. My father lingered in a vegetative state for eight days after his aneurysm ruptured, during which my mother agonized over difficult decisions about life support and organ donation. I wouldn’t want my husband or daughter to face that same burden.
So, one evening during dinner, I broached the subject with my husband. “I started drafting a living will today,” I said, trying to sound confident, though my voice might have wavered.
“Don’t we have a lawyer for that?” he replied with his usual sarcasm, masking his emotions.
“Yes, but it’s simple enough to do ourselves. We can find software to help us create it,” I explained, sharing my feelings about the recent events that had sparked my urgency. I suggested he create one too, and after a moment, he agreed.
We spent time discussing our end-of-life wishes, a conversation we’d touched on before but never with such seriousness. While it felt good to finally articulate these thoughts, it was also sobering. The hardest part? Confronting uncomfortable discussions now or leaving our loved ones to navigate these tough decisions alone later on.
While I might have turned one dinner into a heavy discussion about death, I knew we were making a positive step for our future. Life is unpredictable, and the reality is, we all face mortality. But thanks to our conversation and the living wills we intended to create, our loved ones wouldn’t have to question what to do in a crisis. They would know my wishes, alleviating the burden during a time of grief.
If you want to learn more about related topics, check out this insightful read on home insemination. For those seeking information on family planning, Make A Mom is a great resource, as is the CDC’s guide on pregnancy.
In summary, creating a living will is a vital step in ensuring that your loved ones are not left with difficult decisions during a time of crisis. It allows you to communicate your wishes clearly, providing peace of mind for both you and your family.