14 Things Babies Just Don’t Get

home insemination Kit

You’d think after the umpteenth time of asking my little one for just a few more minutes of sleep, I’d receive some sympathy. But oh, right—I’m reasoning with a baby. Clearly, I’ve lost my mind! Living with a small ruler who doesn’t grasp a single word can really test anyone’s patience. And with infant sign language only covering basics like “eat” and “potty,” we’re both in for some frustration. Honestly, I’d give up my favorite snacks and even my social media just for the chance to convey these concepts to my little tyrant:

1. If I knew what you wanted, I would get it to you faster than you can say “wah.” Honestly, I’m doing my best with only half a brain and fragmented sleep.
2. Midnight is not the ideal time for a karate demonstration on your crib.
3. No matter how stern I may look, my love for you remains unchanged.
4. I’m not abandoning you during dinner; I just really need to take a break. If I don’t go now, I might need a diaper change too!
5. Relish this carefree time, because once you learn how to fold your clothes, life as you know it will change drastically.
6. I get it; yelling is your only way to communicate right now, but maybe try a soft coo or a tiny harp tune?
7. When I see you giggling at an empty corner, I can’t help but feel a bit uneasy. Should I be calling someone?
8. Your laughter is my favorite sound. I’d dance like a fool for hours just to hear it again!
9. Just because I put you to bed doesn’t mean I’m abandoning you. No need to scream like a pack of wolves is after you!
10. Waking up in the middle of the night to screams isn’t the best way to start the day. My heart can only take so much!
11. The chaos you cause directly relates to my desire for another child. Keep it up, and you might just stay an only child!
12. If you could aim your spit-up away from my clothes and the rug, that would be great. Trust me, it’s not a good look.
13. You have no idea how many times I’ve dragged myself from my warm bed to check on you, even when I know you’re safe.
14. When you entered this world, I was just as clueless as you were. We’re both learning together!

You deserve a perfect mother who never loses her cool or curses at spills, but what you’ve got is me—a work in progress. I’ll keep trying my best, even if I drop you once in a while or miss the diaper change until it’s too late. Just bear with me; we’re in this together!

For more insights into home insemination techniques and parenting tips, check out our other blog posts, including our terms and conditions here. If you’re curious about the tools to help you on your journey, Make a Mom is a great resource. Also, for additional information on insemination methods, Healthline offers excellent guidance.

Summary

This article humorously reflects on the challenges of parenting a baby who doesn’t understand the adult world. It emphasizes the frustrations and joys of motherhood, highlighting the learning curve both parent and child experience together.