Self-Confidence: My Body Is as Good as It’s Going to Get

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I fell head over heels for my partner because he was tall, a bit scruffy, and had the rugged charm of a lumberjack. He’d shoot pool with a cigarette dangling from his lips, exuding a carefree vibe like he was always up for a good time. Meanwhile, I was the girl who seemed to care too much about everything.

I remember battling with myself: No, this is totally wrong. HE is all wrong. He smokes, drinks, and skips church. Jake says all the irreverent things I’m too shy to voice. He’s way too fun to be a good fit for me.

It’s worth mentioning that before Jake, I mostly dated the rule-following type—none of whom ever touched a beer. And honestly, that’s probably why they were so boring. I love to laugh, and Jake had a knack for making me giggle uncontrollably. Surprisingly, I discovered that I enjoyed beer, maybe even more than he did. It was such a bizarre yet perfect match, leaving our friends puzzled.

As time went on, I realized that my initial judgment was spot-on: Jake didn’t care about societal norms, and it was refreshing. His confidence radiated in everything he did; if he saw himself in the mirror, he’d flex and cheer, “Yeah!” before going about his day. I was fascinated by the self-assurance he had, and I longed for it.

Fast forward a decade and three kids later, and I’m finally realizing how much I took my body for granted when it had all that youthful elasticity. I wish I could stand in front of the mirror, give myself a playful pat, and shout, “That’s right!” Why can’t I just embrace myself, cellulite, large nipples, and all?

Sometimes I think, I wish I could have the confidence of a man. I also wish I could hop in a time machine and throw on some outrageous outfits just because. I get why some older women dress like they’re still teens; they realize they should have celebrated their bodies much earlier. As the years creep on, they find themselves in the juniors section of JCPenney thinking, “Why not wear this ridiculously tacky outfit today? I’ll never look better than I do right now!” And that, my friends, is how a cougar comes to be.

A few months ago, fueled by a few glasses of wine, I stood naked in my bathroom and got fired up. I marched into our living room and boldly declared to Jake, “Take a good look, because this is as good as it’s going to get!” I did a little spin for him and then stomped back to our bedroom. It felt so liberating that I repeated the act the next day and the day after that, and I’ve kept it up ever since.

This isn’t an attempt at seduction. I flip on all the lights to showcase every imperfection—there’s no flattering ambiance or cleverly positioned sheets; it’s more like a raw documentary. Yet, despite everything, it seems to be the highlight of Jake’s day, likely because most guys appreciate a good pair of boobs. If I forget this little ritual, he’s quick to remind me in his own romantic way:

Me: Goodnight.
Jake: Wait! Don’t forget to show me your boobs.
Me: Let me turn on all the lights first so you can see everything clearly. Tomorrow, I might look a little worse, so make sure to catch a good view today.

Through this experience, I’ve learned that the secret to carrying the same confidence as a man is simply not apologizing for how one looks. This is it, folks. My body is what it is, and my areolas aren’t shrinking anytime soon.

So, let’s embrace intimacy—with all the lights on!

This post originally appeared on Home Insemination Kit.

If you’re interested in more tips and insights on home insemination, check out this informative guide on pregnancy week by week. And for those exploring the journey of artificial insemination, visit Make A Mom for expert advice.

In summary, embracing your body can lead to newfound confidence. Sometimes it takes a little nudge to appreciate what you have right now. So why not celebrate yourself and find joy in your unique beauty?