How a Pregnant Woman with a Disability Manages Insensitive Queries

home insemination Kit

As a visually impaired woman in my thirties, I tend to attract a lot of attention. People are often taken aback to see someone my age maneuvering a white cane in my neighborhood. When my partner, Alex, and I discovered I was pregnant just six months after I had lost my sight, we were both in complete disbelief. The prospect of becoming parents filled us with excitement and anxiety, but we quickly realized that the terms “disability” and “pregnancy” don’t always mix well in the minds of others.

As my pregnancy progressed, I went from being an unusual sight to a source of fascination. It seemed people were amazed that a blind woman could carry a child and plan to raise it. Besides my own worries about the pregnancy, the intrusive questions I faced added extra stress to my already high-risk situation. I didn’t want to feel guilty about my pregnancy or pity myself for my disability; I simply wished for people to be excited for us. Unfortunately, congratulations and respectful interactions were hard to come by. During one of my weekly check-ups, I broke down in tears while discussing my feelings with my doctor. He listened kindly and handed me tissue after tissue until I was finished. Then he gently asked, “Why do you care?” Those words struck me deeply. If I was going to be a mother, I needed to develop a tougher skin. I refused to let negativity overshadow my joy. So, I decided that if people were bold enough to ask, they should be ready for my candid responses.

1. Was this pregnancy planned?
   Well, let’s just say the romantic moments were planned, but the baby was a delightful surprise! Family planning is a joint decision between Alex and me. We were absolutely thrilled when we found out I was expecting, even if it came six months after my vision loss. We’ve wanted a family for years, and amidst this life change, it finally happened. There’s a little miracle on the way, and whether it was planned or not, the joy is real. Can you just be happy for us?
2. You’re not keeping it?
   If “it” refers to my baby, then absolutely, I will be keeping my child! I’m a well-educated woman in a loving, stable relationship, and I have the resources and support necessary to provide for my baby. I long to be a mom. There are countless capable disabled individuals who successfully raise children, and I hope you’re aware of that.
3. Where’s the father in all of this?
   Oh, you mean the husband I’ve shared my life with for a decade? Alex is right there, thrilled about becoming a dad. Yes, disabled people do get married and have loving relationships, just like anyone else. Did you think that someone wouldn’t want a meaningful connection with me due to my disability?
4. I didn’t think disabled people were ‘allowed’ to have kids.
   If I’m not mistaken, there’s no law enforcing sterilization for those who become disabled. We have relationships, we have intimacy, and yes, we have children, just like everyone else. People with various disabilities make the choice to become parents every day. Just so you know, “people like me” don’t need permission from “people like you” to start a family.
5. But how will you _________?
   How will I change the baby? Feed it? Get to the doctor? Trust me, I’ve thought about all these things, and yes, I’m scared. But here’s the thing: what new parent isn’t? I’ll have nine months to figure things out, network, and set up resources to meet my baby’s needs. Ultimately, since you’re not responsible for my child, you don’t have to worry about it. I may not have all the answers, but that’s okay. Disabled or not, I’m ready to be a mother and will do everything possible to ensure my baby has what they need.
6. Don’t you think having a disabled mother will be hard on your child?
   Yes, being raised by a disabled mother may present challenges. I may not be the best soccer coach, and I won’t be the one driving carpool. However, my child will learn determination and empathy. They will understand that challenges can be overcome, and that a disability doesn’t define someone’s worth or capabilities.

So, if you ever meet a pregnant woman with a disability, please refrain from making assumptions or interrogating her. Instead, offer a compliment or a simple congratulations. Treat her as you would any other expectant mother and remember that loving a child doesn’t require any special accommodations.

For more insights on navigating pregnancy and home insemination, check out this great resource. And if you’re curious about home insemination kits, you can find more information at Cryobaby or learn more about the process at Intracervical Insemination.

Summary:

Navigating pregnancy as a disabled woman comes with its own set of unique challenges, especially when faced with insensitive questions. By responding assertively and educating those around her, a disabled mother can embrace her journey with pride, ensuring her focus remains on the joy of impending motherhood rather than the negativity of others.