If My Partner Were the Babysitter, He’d Be Out of a Job

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When my partner Jason was a kid, his dad was unemployed for a stretch, making his mom the only one bringing in a paycheck. My mother-in-law looks back on that time with pride, recalling how she supported her family. Conversely, my father-in-law jokingly refers to it as “the time I babysat Jason.”

That’s a bit maddening, isn’t it? The idea that when a dad handles most of the daily parenting, it’s just babysitting is absurd. Moms “mother,” while dads “babysit?” Not on my watch! Because when Jason cares for our child, it’s a whole different ball game.

Real-Life Examples

For example, last Saturday, I had a project due before noon, and Jason volunteered to wake up with our 16-month-old and keep him entertained while I worked. Not long after they headed downstairs, who strolls back up but our little guy, fork in hand and ready for action. And where was Jason? Fast asleep on the couch!

Now, is that the conduct of a babysitter? Absolutely not! I’d have to fire that babysitter on the spot.

When our professional babysitter arrives, she brings a treasure trove of engaging activities for our son. But when Jason is in charge, they end up at the hardware store picking out light bulbs.

The babysitter cleans up after lunch, while my partner once took the batteries out of the smoke alarms when the pizza dinner went south. That’s not exactly what I’d expect from someone watching my child.

The babysitter gives our little one baths and puts him in pajamas for bed. Jason? He sometimes puts our son to bed in the same clothes he wore all day, sticky hands and all. A babysitter who did that would definitely not be called again.

When our child is fussy, the babysitter sings and cuddles him. Jason, on the other hand, lets him roll around in the lumber aisle at Home Depot. I wouldn’t find that acceptable from a babysitter either!

If our child is under the weather, the babysitter follows my instruction for medications and sends me updates. Jason, however, just takes our son to the mall. If a babysitter tried that, I’d have some serious concerns.

The babysitter teaches our child about washing hands, while Jason thinks it’s hilarious to flush the toilet constantly. Not exactly a skill set I’d want from a babysitter.

While the baby sleeps, the babysitter tidies up and relaxes on the couch. Jason, however, would be out in the yard doing yard work. While that’s nice, I’d prefer the babysitter stay inside where the little one is napping.

Different Styles of Parenting

The babysitter earns a paycheck, while Jason doesn’t. But he does get the joy of an adorable, happy child and a loving partner!

Would I trust Jason to babysit? Not a chance! His carefree approach to childcare is nothing like mine or our babysitter’s. He definitely doesn’t “mother,” and he’s far from the babysitting style we’re used to, so can we please stop calling it that?

Honestly, this laid-back attitude of his can be frustrating. I wish he could feel the same level of concern I carry for our child—the kind that makes me protective and cautious about his safety. I want him to wrap our little one in bubble wrap and keep him safe while playing with nothing but foam blocks.

I’ve found that dads can be pretty rough around the edges when it comes to babysitting. But they often excel as dads. I know our child benefits from both the “fathering” and “mothering” he receives. Those trips to the hardware store in pajamas are just as valuable as any structured activity. Even if they end up with scraped knees from climbing on slides meant for older kids, I know our son will feel the love and care from his dad in a way that only he can provide.

So when I’m away, I might worry, but Jason and our son will be laughing together, exploring, and making memories, even if they get into a little trouble. And when I return, I’ll wash those little hands and kiss those scrapes, knowing that all three of us—mom, dad, and child—are better for it.

Further Reading

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Conclusion

In summary, while my partner may not be the best babysitter, his unique approach to fatherhood brings invaluable experiences for our child. It’s essential to embrace the different ways parents nurture and support their little ones.