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I’m Fat, and I’m Happy
Hey there, friend! Let me share a little story with you. The girl you see in that photo on the left? That’s me! Five years ago, right after welcoming my third little one into the world. This snapshot was taken at the lake, just a couple of months shy of my 35th birthday, and you’d think I was feeling great. I was the smallest I’d been since my teenage years, weighing in at 123 pounds. When I went to grab some khakis at J Crew, I confidently asked for a size 8, but the lovely sales associate insisted I was more of a size 4. I humored her but took the 8 anyway—only to have them drop right off me.
Yet, despite that number on the scale, I looked at this photo and couldn’t shake the feeling that I looked “fat.”
Fast forward to the present: here’s me now, just a few months after turning 40, surrounded by my five kids. My weight has fluctuated over the years, swinging from highs to lows, and it feels like I’ve been on a rollercoaster ride that’s far from thrilling. This is the reality of juggling pregnancy, breastfeeding, nursing school, and everything in between.
The body you see in that earlier photo was achieved through some extreme measures: a strict diet of only about 1,000 calories a day, running 35 miles weekly, and surviving on very little sleep. I was obsessed with every calorie and every workout, which ultimately made me thin but not happy.
You might have a few questions popping up in your mind. Like:
- “Wow, you looked amazing! What happened?”
- “How did you let yourself gain that much weight?”
- “Why does the after picture look less appealing?”
Some of you might even label me as fat, while others could say, “You seem happy and healthy.” But here’s the truth: I am both fat and happy.
Let’s smash those stereotypes right now because they are absolutely ridiculous. Being thin didn’t bring me joy, nor did it solve any of my problems. Sure, being a size 4 made shopping easier and garnered some attention, but it also turned me into someone who was constantly worried about how I looked. It consumed my thoughts and made me sacrifice the food I loved for the sake of fitting into that perfect mold.
But here’s the kicker: thinness doesn’t equate to happiness. You can be fat and joyful, and you can be thin and sad.
I’ve been mulling over this piece for weeks, and then I read an inspiring post from Sarah Collins that pushed me to finish and share my thoughts. We need more voices out there to drown out the noise of diet culture and the relentless pursuit of thinness.
Since that last photo, my medication for bipolar disorder has caused me to gain a few pounds. Sure, it’s tough when my favorite clothes don’t fit, and squeezing into overly tight jeans feels like being stuffed in a sausage casing. But I’ve found peace and joy in my life that outweighs those ten extra pounds.
So here’s a challenge for you: embrace being fat and happy! Wear that bikini with pride, indulge in pizza and ice cream guilt-free, and celebrate life to the fullest. The world wants you to think that thin means happiness, but that’s just not true.
Remember, you deserve love and joy no matter your size. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this post on intracervicalinsemination.com/blog and consider exploring boost fertility supplements for additional support. For more detailed information on insemination methods, the Cleveland Clinic offers an excellent resource on intrauterine insemination.
In summary, it’s crucial to understand that happiness is not dictated by your size. You can embrace who you are, regardless of the number on the scale. It’s all about finding joy in the journey of life!