We’ve all encountered that quirky cat lover—wild hair, mismatched clothes, and the faint scent of cat litter wafting in the air. Perhaps you’ve seen her at the grocery store with a cart full of cat treats or even found a peculiar gift on your porch from her feline friends. If you’ve ever chatted with her while she took her six cats for a stroll on leashes, you probably learned all their names along with their favorite TV shows and political views (one of them is quite the outspoken supporter of a certain reality TV star, causing quite a stir during their morning yoga sessions).
I used to wonder how someone could find joy in a life surrounded by cats, but then I had my own kids. Suddenly, the “Cat Lady” seemed to have all the wisdom in the world. Maybe she was the eldest in a large family or simply the last of her friends to embrace motherhood; either way, she was likely blessed with the insight of nine lives. So, I’ve made a decision: in my next life, I’ll opt for cats over kids. Here’s why:
- Vegetables
Both kids and cats have a strong aversion to vegetables, but when my cat freaks out over a cucumber, it’s amusing enough to go viral. Meanwhile, my toddler’s reaction is more like a theatrical performance, complete with tears and potential upchuck. - Potty Training
Cats manage to do their business in a litter box and cover it up afterward. My toddler, however, views a floor mishap as an announcement worthy of great pride, leaving a trail of chaos in his wake. - Tranquilizers
Both kids and cats may protest car rides, but I can take my cat to the vet for a little sedative. I can only imagine the fallout if I tried that with my child! - Sleep All Day
While my toddler fights sleep like a warrior, my cat has mastered the art of napping. Cats can snooze anywhere, and they won’t demand a midnight bathroom break as soon as you lay down. - Collars
It’s apparently unsafe to put a bell around a toddler’s neck, but I could really use a warning system for those midnight surprises. I can’t count how many times I’ve woken up to a shadowy figure hovering over me! - No Therapy Needed
Unlike children, my cat doesn’t need therapy after accidentally witnessing my husband and I enjoying some private time. His judgmental stares may be off-putting, but they’re far less traumatic. - Bed Sharing
Even when we manage some alone time, my toddler will inevitably invade my bed, demanding space and covers. My cat finds comfort in a cozy corner, without disrupting my sleep. - Sex Education
For anyone raising tweens and teens, let’s just say: spay and neuter. It’s a simple solution that saves a lot of awkward conversations. - Bath Time
Getting my toddler clean is like wrestling a slippery fish. My cat, on the other hand, keeps himself tidy without any fuss—except for the occasional furball that’s a lot less messy than what my kids produce. - Parasites
If my cat gets fleas, I can simply collar him and let him take a break in the garage. I’d much rather do that than spend hours nitpicking through my kids’ hair. - Dinner
Cats are pretty self-sufficient when it comes to food. If I forget to feed my cat, he’ll just charm the neighbors or snack on something else. Kids? Not so resourceful. - Discipline
With cats, a little spritz from a water bottle works wonders for misbehavior. Trying to discipline a child is a far more complicated affair! - Back Talk
My cat has never cursed at me or declared his hatred for me over dinner. But I think I caught him giving me a look once that was rather rude. - Agility
Cats are known for their grace, while toddlers seem to have an innate ability to land on their heads. They’re also drawn to sharp corners like moths to a flame! - Milk
At least when my cat laps up milk, my body doesn’t suffer the consequences.
After having three kids in five years, I look like I just rolled out of bed and smell like a walking disaster. The Crazy Cat Lady gets to leave her fur babies at home while she shops for their holiday outfits without any worry of raising eyebrows from anyone!
In conclusion, life with cats seems far less chaotic than life with kids. If you’re curious about the world of home insemination, check out our other blog posts for more insights on pregnancy and related topics. You can also learn about boosting fertility supplements here.