Why I Decided to Ditch Most of My Holiday To-Do List

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The holiday frenzy has officially kicked off, and it’s a wild rush to achieve the “perfect” Christmas. Stores are overflowing with festive decorations, twinkling lights, and the latest must-have gift sets. Social media is bursting with ideas for the “ultimate” holiday experience, from “25 Ways to Have a Merry Christmas” to “10 Essential Christmas Movies.” As I scroll through, I feel a wave of anxiety wash over me.

As a busy mom in my 40s, managing a household and a large family, the holidays can feel more overwhelming than joyful. Recently, while wandering through a store filled with holiday cheer, I felt my stress levels rise. The pressure to create an idyllic holiday was palpable, and my internal to-do list started generating faster than I could keep up with:

• Put up decorations
• Bake an endless array of treats
• Find the perfect gifts for my teenagers (is that even possible?)
• Take a family holiday photo (with matching outfits that fit!)
• Complete all gift shopping for the family
• Attend church and school events
• Wrap all the gifts
• Manage holiday traditions and crafts with the kids
• Mail out Christmas cards and gifts to long-distance family
• Participate in charity drives…

The list goes on, and I left the store feeling like I was about to implode under the pressure. All I wanted was for the holiday season to pass quickly, so I could catch my breath.

But as I reflected on my to-do list, I realized it was just a collection of expectations influenced by retailers, social media, and the ever-present comparison to others. Did I really need to do all of this to create a memorable holiday for my family? What if I cut back on some of these so-called “essentials”?

To my surprise, the answer was a resounding “Yes!” All my family truly needs for a joyful Christmas is one thing that wasn’t even on my original list: Time. Time spent together with a happy, relaxed parent is what matters most.

This year, I’ve decided to prioritize only those activities that bring genuine joy and peace to our family life. The holiday season should not be a source of stress and resentment. It’s about making memories, not checking off boxes on a list.

As a child, I once saw my mom tear up while listening to Christmas music. When I asked why, she explained that, for some, the holiday season can amplify feelings of sadness and loss. It’s a poignant reminder that while many celebrate, others are grieving.

Perhaps those who are struggling can teach us to embrace the holidays differently: to find joy in moments rather than in material things. The most important item on my holiday to-do list this year is clear: the gift of time.

I want to savor the present, not get lost in presents. I want to cherish my children’s laughter and stories rather than focus on decorations or baked goods. I want to create lasting memories rather than forced traditions.

So, this holiday season, I gift myself and my family the most precious thing of all: time.

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