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The Realities of Marriage and Parenthood
Right after our wedding celebration, I took my husband’s hand and exclaimed, “Let’s start a family!” And that’s exactly what we did—three little ones came into our lives in quick succession. Being married with children has transformed the atmosphere in our home in countless ways.
Now, our version of “dirty talk” consists of questions like, “What’s that awful smell? Didn’t you just change him?” or “You’ve got baby spit on your shirt,” or even “Why did you let her eat her booger?” Foreplay? It’s just a knowing eyebrow wiggle these days. Time is always tight.
In our household, one of us tends to be the fun parent while the other takes on the role of the strict one. These roles aren’t set in stone, but the kids quickly learn who to approach for what. The fun parent gets all the exciting requests like, “Can we go for ice cream?” or “Will you help me build a fort?” Meanwhile, the disciplinarian deals with the less glamorous tasks, such as handling tattling. Sure, we bicker about it occasionally, but most of the time, we appreciate what the other brings to the table, knowing that the disciplinarian has the tougher job.
When a nostalgic song plays, we exchange a glance that says it all—even if it’s during a chaotic diaper change while juggling a pacifier. My husband can sense my PMS coming a week in advance, and while my hormones might be on a rollercoaster, he adjusts without saying a word. He knows it’s safer that way!
We try not to keep score, but let’s be honest—we do. We remind each other about who last took the dog out or who changed the last diaper. Sometimes we challenge each other with the “Let’s See Who Can Go the Longest Without Taking Out the Trash” game. But when one of us does something sweet, it all seems trivial, and I find myself taking out the trash anyway (even though it was technically my turn).
When one of us runs out of patience, the other seems to magically know and steps up to make things right. After all, we’ve seen each other at our worst and just want to keep our kids and each other safe.
You can tell when your spouse is genuinely asleep versus when they’re pretending—especially during those sleepless nights when a child is sick or having night terrors. Sometimes, I give him a nudge, but other times, I start plotting my playful revenge.
If we can’t find a babysitter but desperately need some time together, we tuck the kids into bed early after feeding them chicken nuggets. Then we whip up steaks, make risotto, and indulge in a whole apple pie while sharing stories about our amazing kids.
We fondly recall our honeymoon and the adventures we had before kids, but the thrill of planning a family trip to a nostalgic place brings a new excitement.
When our little angel swears, we exchange wide-eyed looks, silently waiting for one of us to take action—but sometimes, it’s just too funny to intervene!
We get to cherish so many milestones together—the first bath, first steps, even the first successful potty moment. And if one of us isn’t there to witness it, we instantly grab our phones, knowing the other will share in the joy.
A gentle tap from my husband when the kids do something adorable becomes our secret language. It’s a quiet reminder to look but not let them know we’re watching.
Watching non-kid shows becomes an exciting date night. We can hardly wait all day; after putting the kids to bed, we dive into our favorite (and often inappropriate) content—the very things we try so hard to shield our kids from. It feels so indulgent!
Ultimately, being married and parenting feels like home. You partner with someone you adore, experiencing life’s firsts together. Sure, mistakes happen, but every now and then, we shine together. What truly matters are the date nights, those cherished firsts, supporting one another, and those playful eyebrow wiggles. When the kids are grown and out of the house, I’m sure we’ll still be sharing an apple pie and reminiscing about how wonderful they turned out.
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Summary
Being married with kids turns the dynamics of a relationship upside down. From transitioning into roles of fun and discipline to navigating the challenges of parenthood, couples share unique experiences and memories together. The journey is filled with laughter, frustration, and sweet moments that create a home rich in love.