I’m Not Sure How I Made It Through, But You Will Too

home insemination Kit

Last night, a close friend reached out with a message that struck a chord: “I’m so fed up with everything and everyone.” We don’t chat often, but we always connect when life feels overwhelming. She has a 5-year-old and a 9-month-old, which is a handful.

She wrote, “Am I a terrible parent if I just want to give away my kids? The oldest won’t stop whining, and the youngest is always crying. I might need to check myself into a facility.” I replied jokingly, “Absolutely! You’re on the ‘bad parent’ bus with me behind the wheel. Honestly, would you rather be on a ‘perfect parent’ bus with someone who only has glowing things to say about their kids?”

Her husband was relaxing with their older child while the baby wailed in the crib. I told her, “Scream into a pillow, lie on the ground and look at the sky. Just do it. You deserve it. And maybe have a drink—you’ve earned that too!”

After a few texts, I decided to call her. “Let it all out,” I said.

“I’m exhausted,” she vented. “I know this phase won’t last forever and that things will improve when the baby is older, but the whining is relentless. I feel like I’m failing both of them…”

I listened and thought, “Wow, I remember these feelings so vividly, but I think I may have moved past them.” We laughed, and I shared my coping strategies: writing, some self-criticism, and yes, the occasional guilty pleasure of a cigarette after the kids were asleep (which I quickly regretted!).

While talking to my friend, I realized that for once, I was the one offering support instead of seeking it. It hit me: “It was really hard, but I can’t quite remember why. It’s all a blur.” Yet, there was one memory that stood out—those endless nights of tearless crying.

She continued, “I know it will get better soon.”

I thought to myself, “If by ‘soon’ you mean a year and a half, then yes, it will.” She’s on the brink of the stage where my youngest unleashed the relentless “when will this whining end?” thoughts.

I acknowledge that my struggles aren’t over, but the chaotic toddler years have calmed down. Talking to her made me realize that I might actually be on the other side of this parenting rollercoaster.

Things do get (slightly) easier—just as everyone told me a year ago. I reminded her, “You’re the closest to me on this journey, so don’t hesitate to reach out whenever you need to vent. I can still relate.”

“I will,” she said, “I know it all has to get better.”

Oh, but I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Not quite yet!”

Parenting has become (a little) more bearable now, but it still feels like herding cats while repeating myself a dozen times to negotiate with my (adorable but stubborn) 2½-year-old.

I still find myself rolling my eyes and losing my cool when my 4-year-old throws a fit over something trivial. And yes, there are still sleepless nights and tears shed over a pacifier (the toddler kind, not mine!).

But things have improved. I always dreamed of this day, and it really sunk in when I found myself as the listener—supporting someone else lamenting their difficult baby. I could genuinely respond, “I understand. I’ve been there. I don’t know how I got through it, but you will too.”

The view is definitely different from this perspective, even if the future still looks a bit daunting. I think I’ll treat myself to a drink. Because, let’s be honest, I’ve earned it.

If you want to learn more about parenting struggles and home insemination, check out our other blog posts here: Intracervical Insemination. For an authority on fertility, take a look at Couples Fertility Journey. And for an exceptional resource on pregnancy, visit Johns Hopkins Fertility Center.

In Summary

Parenting can be incredibly challenging, but it does get better over time. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, remember that you’re not alone, and it’s okay to vent. There’s light at the end of the tunnel, and you will find your way through it.