The Things My Kids Get Away With

Every morning, I rise and the very first thing I do is brush my teeth—without delay. Standing at the sink, toothbrush in hand, I find myself dancing a little, mainly because I really need to pee. But there’s no way I’m going to do that until I tackle the morning breath situation. It’s the absolute worst! So why is it that when my little one breathes his milky, morning breath straight into my face, it’s totally fine? It’s simple: he’s my kid. I adore having him close enough to inhale that lovely scent of childhood. In the comfort of our home, my kids get away with so much that others might not. Here are a few examples:

My kids can sneeze directly onto my face from an inch away. And it’s not your polite adult sneeze, no way. It’s a full-blown, messy toddler sneeze. My youngest loves to announce “achoo!” after each sneeze, as if he’s just completed a grand achievement. “Achoo, Mommy!” “Achoo, Daddy!” “Achoo, Teddy!” Thanks for the face wash, kiddos.
The toddler thinks it’s hilarious to bonk me on the head. He follows it up with a joyful “bonk!” in that adorable voice of his. I can’t help but laugh and mimic him—“bonk!”
My baby can drool on me without a care in the world. He can create an impressive string of drool on any part of my body, even right after I’ve put on my work outfit. It’s fine; it’ll dry, and that smile is worth it.
The toddler has a talent for placing random items on my head, all while declaring, “hat!” I’m often blown away by his understanding of what constitutes a hat, so I let him pile on stuffed animals, toys, and even the occasional Christmas ornament. If he wants to put a “hat” on the baby, I’m game for that too!
My baby thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to chew on anything that isn’t a safety hazard. If I were to gnaw on a remote control, I’d get odd looks, but when he does it, it’s just cute. Here, let me take the batteries out for you, little one.
The toddler insists on having pretend phone conversations with me, repeating the same 3-second exchange endlessly. “Hello? Hi! How are you? Bye!” And you guessed it—I can’t wait for him to call me back.
Both kids manage to make loud, spontaneous noises whenever they feel like it. We could be quietly watching a movie, and suddenly, one of them will erupt with excitement. But who could blame them? They’re just reveling in the joy of life!
My baby can babble “ba-ba-ba” for hours, and instead of being irritated, I’m totally engaged. “Oh, really? Tell me more!” We can go back and forth for ages, and honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The toddler can look into the toilet and exclaim, “Wow!” I’ve seen countless toilets in my life, but for him, it’s a brand-new discovery, and I can’t help but appreciate his enthusiasm.
Bath time is an event in our house. The kids can splash and play for what feels like an eternity, while I try to sneak in a quick shower. There’s just something so magical about bubbles and bath toys.
The toddler loves to surprise me with sudden tackles from behind. He expects me to catch him and flip him forward, and I oblige, knowing that one day he’ll outgrow this. Until then, I’ll keep flipping him until he’s too big!
Personal space? What’s that? My kids invade it regularly, and I embrace every moment. I know that one day they’ll want their own space, but until then, I’m all in for the cuddles!

The list of what my kids can get away with is extensive and ever-evolving. But it’s equally true that I, too, have my own perks as their mom. I’ll always hold their hands, hug them in public, and warn them about lurking hazards, no matter how old they get. They’ll always be my babies. As Dave Grohl says, “Breathe out, so I can breathe you in,” even if their breath smells like whole milk and snacks. Stay close, my little ones.

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In summary, parenting is a delightful mix of chaos and love, where my kids get away with all sorts of antics, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

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