How My Son’s Wild Imagination Led Us to the ER

home insemination Kit

As a mom of three little ones all under the age of five, I’ve had my fair share of emergency room visits. Most of our trips have been due to classic parenting mishaps—like when one of my kids spikes a high fever right at 5:31 p.m. on a Friday. We’ve also had our moments of overreacting to minor bumps and scrapes. (Seriously, when you Google “what does brain fluid look like,” it says it’s like mucus! How am I supposed to differentiate between a runny nose from crying and potential brain fluid? Spoiler: it was just tears.)

However, the most bizarre ER trip happened a few months back. It was the end of a long school week, and I was busy making dinner, dreaming of getting my exhausted children into bed. Just as I poured eggs into the skillet, my son dashed in, tears streaming down his face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, alarmed.

Through his sobs, he managed to say, “I don’t think I swallowed a penny!”

Now, that was a new one for me.

“I’m not sure I understand,” I said, puzzled. “Why do you think you didn’t swallow a penny?”

This question sent him into another fit of tears, leaving my husband and me exchanging confused glances. I called my daughter, who had been playing with him, hoping for some clarity. But she just gave me her best innocent face, realizing silence was her best option.

Sighing, I abandoned the eggs and called my brother, who happens to be an ER doctor.

“He said he doesn’t think he swallowed a penny,” I told him.

“Well, that likely means he did,” he replied matter-of-factly.

I sighed again. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

So began the most embarrassing ER visit of my life. My husband took over dinner duty while I took my son to the hospital. He calmed down as we drove, but I still pressed for answers.

“I don’t think I swallowed one,” he repeated.

“But how is that even a possibility? Can you tell me why you’re so upset?” He couldn’t articulate it, so we continued our drive in silence.

When we arrived at the ER, I approached the receptionist. “Hi, my son is convinced he didn’t swallow a penny.” She stifled a laugh and checked us in.

Before long, we were in a room where I had to repeat the story to a nurse and then the attending doctor. “Did you swallow a penny?” the doctor asked my son.

“No,” he insisted, his conviction growing by the second.

The doctor chuckled and said, “He likely swallowed a penny.” (Is there a course on this in medical school?) He suggested an X-ray to see what was going on, explaining there was a slim chance it could get stuck.

Meanwhile, my son was happily distracted by Disney on the hospital TV—a treat he doesn’t get at home. The X-ray technician came in, grinning. “I hear your son’s not sure if he swallowed a penny! That’s a new one!” He took the X-rays while my son, now fixated on the screen, ignored the penny drama.

Shortly after, the doctor returned with the verdict.

“Well, your son is quite honest,” he said.

“You mean he didn’t swallow a penny?” I asked, half-holding my breath.

“No penny,” the doctor confirmed.

Honestly, I barely processed the discharge instructions. Perhaps something along the lines of “keep an eye on imaginative stories”? I do know we paid a pretty penny just to learn that my son was, in fact, penny-free.

I never figured out what happened that day. I tried to ask him again on the way home, but he clammed up. Days later, he mentioned something about not finding a penny and concluding that it must be inside him. Apparently, if it’s missing, it must be swallowed? I’m still scratching my head over the whole experience. But hey, at least it ended well!

In the end, parenting is full of surprises, and if you’re thinking about expanding your family, check out some great resources like March of Dimes for pregnancy guidance, or explore this post for tips on home insemination. After all, if you’re looking for an authority on the subject, Make a Mom has you covered with their at-home insemination kit.

Summary

A mom recounts a chaotic yet humorous trip to the ER, stemming from her son’s vivid imagination and his belief that he might have swallowed a penny. While the situation turned out to be harmless, it highlights the unexpected adventures of parenting and the importance of humor during stressful moments.