My Family Is Totally Focused on My Menstrual Cycle – And It’s My Doing!

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When my mother started her period at 13, my grandmother gave her a surprising slap across the face. She explained that this was a common reaction “back in the old country,” but promised she wouldn’t treat me the same way when my time came. Instead, she handed me a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves. I was 12, and I dove into the black-and-white images of the 1970s classic, hoping to learn about menstruation. While I can’t recall much of the text, those photographs have certainly etched themselves into my memory.

As a latte-sipping, progressive feminist, I’ve aimed to cultivate a more positive view of my body and its functions, especially after my husband and I welcomed our son and daughter. I put a lot of thought into how to ensure my daughter felt comfortable discussing menstruation.

Last year, we decided to run an experiment: whenever I got my period, my husband would take the kids out to buy me candy. Alright, I came up with the idea, but he was onboard!

The plan was pretty straightforward: we wanted to normalize a topic that often feels taboo and turn it into a regular part of our conversations. Plus, who doesn’t love candy, right?

Introducing the Topic

At the dinner table, we introduced the topic to our daughter and her eight-year-old brother. My husband and I tried to act a little casual, like we were discussing a playdate or something equally mundane.

Me: “So, I have some news. I’m on my period.”  
Husband: “That’s great! Kids, let’s grab some chocolate for Mommy after dinner.”  
Son: “What’s a period?”  
Me: “Think of it like a nosebleed, but from a vagina. It’s not painful.”  
Son: “Blood comes out of your vagina?”  
Me: “Exactly! It happens about once a month for grown women and teens.”  
Son: “Oh. [Pause.] Can I have chocolate, too?”  
Me: “Of course! I’ll share. Just make sure Dad picks out something nice.”

I felt great about how it went. My daughter listened closely, my son seemed on his way to being a wonderfully open-minded guy, and my husband didn’t react like he was about to lose his lunch at the table. However, the follow-up comments were a bit concerning:

• “Mommy, my nose is having a period!”
• “I have candy because Mommy has blood on her vagina!”
• “Mommy, can we get M&M’s for your period?”

If only these conversations were limited to the privacy of home!

Positive Results

Overall, the results of our little experiment have been promising. My kids are unbothered by discussions about anatomy, my husband avoids euphemisms like “Aunt Flo,” and I get plenty of candy. I’ll keep you posted as my daughter approaches her teenage years. Until then, I’ll need to figure out how to explain why other women (like her teacher, neighbors, or even the mail carrier) might not want an offer of “period chocolate.”

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In summary, discussing menstruation openly in our home has led to unexpected, humorous moments, but also a positive shift in how my children perceive this natural process.