Why I Prioritize One-On-One Time with My Eldest Child

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“How about a special outing, just the two of us?” I’ve asked my son this countless times, but it’s been a while since our last adventure together. Ever since our little one arrived almost seven months ago, we haven’t had a proper date.

My 4-year-old son, Max, is the eldest of three. He has a 2-year-old sister, Lily, and a baby brother, Noah. Max is incredibly bright, passionate, caring, and always eager to help. Yet, he also has a fiery temper and deep emotions, feeling everything intensely and loving unconditionally.

When Lily was born two and a half years ago, our “dates” began. Ranging from simple outings to more elaborate adventures, we cherished our time together, reveling in the freedom of being just us.

Then, with Noah’s arrival, Max stepped into the role of the big brother. He adores his siblings more than I ever imagined, and I know he wouldn’t trade them for a moment of being an only child. But, in the hustle and bustle of family life, it’s easy for him to feel overlooked.

Just yesterday was Thanksgiving, a day when Dad was home. Despite playing all day, Max ended up feeling ignored and began to express his frustrations. I try to acknowledge his feelings and reassure him, but it’s often overwhelming. With three kids and not enough hours in the day, patience can run thin.

This morning, I asked him, “How about that date? Just you and me?” I saw his eyes light up. His excitement was palpable as he asked for me to carry him to the car, and I happily obliged, marveling at how quickly he’s grown.

We decided on IHOP for a treat, given our gluten-free lifestyle. As we settled into our booth, he nestled beside me and started coloring on his activity placemat. I took a moment to admire him—there was a scratch on his cheek, and as I studied his face, I noticed the freckles that danced across his nose and cheeks, extending to his hairline. Where had my baby gone?

As he leaned into me and whispered, “I love you,” I realized I hadn’t said his name in a tone of disapproval during our whole outing. He was just perfect in that moment.

When did I lose touch? How had I not noticed those freckles? After our meal, he eagerly took the check and asked to pay, standing taller than I remembered. I watched him interact with the cashier, and for a brief moment, I felt a wave of pride.

As we reached the car, tears welled up in my eyes. I hugged him tightly, explaining how hard it is for both of us to manage the demands of his siblings. I promised him more outings, even if it’s just a car ride with music. He smiled and nodded, assuring me he’d love that.

And that’s why I make time for my son.

If you’re interested in learning more about parenting and related topics, check out this insightful piece on intracervicalinsemination.com, or for more resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Cleveland Clinic’s podcast. You can also explore Make A Mom for expert guidance.

In summary, taking time for one-on-one outings with my eldest child is essential. It allows us to reconnect and strengthens our bond, ensuring he feels valued amidst the chaos of family life.