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What I Hope to Gain in the New Year
As a kid, I remember being around 12 when I made my first big decision to lose something—weight. I always carried a little extra, and each year, shedding pounds was high on my list of resolutions. My goals changed over time; some years, I’d pledge to quit habits like biting my nails, while others had me diving into the latest weight-loss fads. For over thirty years, my focus has been on what to lose or quit.
But looking back, I realize I’ve rarely considered what I might want to gain. Maybe it’s something I lost along the way, or perhaps it’s something I never had. It could even be something I was too scared to embrace.
One thing I wonder about is my voice. Like many women, I’ve spent so much time absorbing the words and feelings of others that I’ve silenced my own. When I finally muster the courage to speak up, guilt often follows. I find myself second-guessing whether I did the right thing instead of trusting my instincts. It’s become a habit to dismiss my voice, and I’ve chased perfection for so long that it’s left me exhausted.
I’m tired of always taking the easy route to avoid conflict. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and to please everyone, living in a comfort zone that’s anything but fulfilling. We ignore that inner voice urging us to be true to ourselves, the one that encourages us to honor our identities.
Now, this journey to reclaim my voice has taken on new significance, especially since I have a 9-year-old daughter, Lily, who is navigating the same struggle. I often see her hesitate to share her thoughts, instantly looking to others for validation. It breaks my heart when I notice the doubt creep in, causing her to hold back.
I frequently remind her of the importance of expressing herself with confidence and pride. She hears my frustrations about my own experiences of not using my voice, and I want to change that narrative for her. We don’t simply decide to silence ourselves; we learn it. Finally, I understand that I am the architect of my own voice; I must actively create and nurture it.
Sometimes I reflect on why it took me so long to embrace my voice, but I remind myself that everyone has their own pace on this journey. I will get there when the time is right.
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In summary, as we step into the new year, let’s shift our focus from what we need to lose to what we can gain—especially our voices. Whether it’s the confidence to speak up or the courage to embrace who we truly are, it’s time to honor ourselves.