Dear Partner,

home insemination Kit

You truly are one of a kind! If I didn’t believe that, I wouldn’t have chosen to share my life with you (and let’s be honest, my taste is impeccable). But we need to chat about a little something that’s been bothering me.

It’s about your bathroom habits. Let’s just say they leave a lot to be desired, and I mean that in more ways than one.

I completely get that when nature calls, it can’t wait. But I can’t help but notice the timing of your “emergencies.” For instance, right when we’re pulling into the driveway with a car full of groceries, suddenly you find yourself in desperate need of relief. You rush inside to “take care of business,” and here I am left with a trunk full of items that need to be brought in. It’s almost like a magic trick—poof! You vanish at the most inconvenient moments, like when it’s time to wrangle the kids into bed or tackle those dirty dishes you swore you’d handle before dinner. It all feels a bit too… convenient for my liking.

We’re both grown-ups here, so I find it hard to believe you can’t hold it just a bit longer. Believe it or not, I experience those same urges too, yet I manage to hold off until there’s a more suitable moment. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat in the school drop-off line, desperately hoping the vehicles ahead of me start moving before I have a little “incident.”

Surprisingly, I’ve navigated through life without any embarrassing mishaps (well, my kids are another story). When something needs urgent attention, I handle it before making a beeline for the bathroom.

Now, let’s talk about the time you spend in there. You claim to be on the verge of a “code brown” every single time, yet you’re often in there for half an hour, glued to your phone. A true emergency wouldn’t have you sitting there long enough for your legs to fall asleep! While you’re enjoying your alone time, I’m left to wrangle the kids, put the groceries away, and do the dishes before they become an archaeological dig site.

And can we discuss the fact that you forget to turn on the exhaust fan? While you may not mind marinating in your own aroma, the rest of us would appreciate a little air circulation, especially when the scent starts wafting into the hallway.

So, let’s address the main points here:

1. Quick, selfless bathroom breaks are a common courtesy.
2. The bathroom is not your personal fortress.
3. If you’re in there long enough to numb your legs, maybe the urgency wasn’t that critical after all.

These are the key takeaways I hope you’ll ponder. I’m sending you this link so you can read it while you’re in your favorite spot—because we all know that’s where you’ll be.

With love and a hint of concern,
Your Wife

P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about our journey, check out this post on home insemination kits and visit Make A Mom for expert insights. Also, Kindbody offers fantastic resources for all things pregnancy and home insemination.