For the past five years, I’ve been navigating the journey of parenting an only child. When I first dreamed of being a parent, I pictured having at least two kids. Growing up with siblings, I cherished the camaraderie (even if there were a few hair-pulling incidents involving an electric shoe shiner and some close calls with scissors). Naturally, I wanted my future children to have that same experience. But as life often does, it threw me some curveballs, and for a while, it seemed like our son would be our one and only.
Now, as I transition from being a parent of one to a parent of multiple children, I want to take a moment to reflect and make a commitment to those still raising an only child.
I vow to never look down on you.
I promise to remember how challenging it can be to raise one child. I will refrain from snickering or saying things like, “Just wait until you have two!” or “You have no idea what’s coming!” You are just as much a parent as I am, regardless of how many kids you have.
I also pledge not to play the martyr.
Choosing to expand my family was my decision, and I won’t take the stress that comes with it out on you. If I do find myself longing for the simplicity of having just one child, I won’t express jealousy or lament about how much easier it was before.
I promise to hold back the tears.
I won’t pry into your family plans by asking when you’ll have another child or why you haven’t decided to expand. I won’t suggest that you “complete” your family or imply that your child is missing out on something important by being an only child. Questions like whether your kid is spoiled or if they have enough friends will be off-limits.
Above all, I’ll never assume that you’re any less of a parent simply because your path is different from mine. Let’s agree to respect our unique experiences in this parenting journey. You just have to promise not to say, “I told you so.”
Parenting is tough, no matter how many little ones you’re juggling. Every parent faces their own set of challenges, and we should recognize that we’re all in this together. It’s silly to bicker and judge each other when, in reality, our shared goal is to raise happy, healthy children.
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In summary, let’s support one another in our unique parenting experiences. Whether you’re a parent of one or many, we all share the same challenges and joys.