You don’t have to be flawless, the internet insists. They urge us to stop competing and to put an end to the Mommy Wars. Just say no to Pinterest, they claim… It seems nearly impossible to scroll through social media without encountering calls to end parental rivalry. And honestly, I couldn’t agree more. As parents, we should embrace being “good enough.” We need to ease up on judging other families and their choices while also being kinder to ourselves.
That said, sometimes I genuinely enjoy creating things, and that doesn’t mean I’m trying to be perfect or make life harder for anyone else. There seems to be this notion that moms who engage in homemade crafts or bake from scratch are somehow striving for perfection or competing for the title of “Best Mom.” It’s as if we’re the scapegoats in every anti-Pinterest discussion, blamed for the pressures of modern parenting.
I’d like to stand up for those moms, including myself, because my experience tells a different story. I love cooking, I have a knack for design, and I cherish organizing my space. I have a passion for fashion, hair, and makeup, and I’ve always enjoyed planning themed parties.
I’ve crafted homemade Valentine’s cards, designed Halloween costumes, and whipped up organic meals with sheer delight. I even put on mascara every day because that’s just me.
Now, there are plenty of things I skip. I don’t take photos to scrapbook, I’m not big on baking, I don’t volunteer at school, and let’s just say my toilets don’t get cleaned as often as they should. I don’t even sign my kids up for many extracurricular activities.
But when I decide to create an Egyptian-themed birthday cake with graham cracker crumbs for desert sand, it’s not to make you feel inadequate or to outshine your contributions. I’m not perched on a high horse, judging your store-bought goodies. In fact, when you ask me, “You made that?” with that tone, it honestly makes me feel bad.
I don’t do it to appear perfect or to make you feel worse. I don’t even do it for my kids. I do it for myself.
Some may see it as sad that I cling to these projects, but they bring me joy amidst the daily grind of parenting. I want to express myself creatively, whether it’s through a birthday cake, a new eyeliner, or a labeling system. That’s just who I am.
Am I misplacing my energies? That’s not for you to decide. I’m not trying to pressure you into being the perfect parent any more than I’m vying for a feature in a magazine. I’m merely seeking a piece of myself in a world that often feels foreign.
I don’t do it to prove my love for my kids or to chase after perfection; I embrace whatever makes parenting a bit easier and helps me reconnect with who I truly am. You might not understand what that thing is, but that’s okay.
I’ve given up so much as a parent; do I really also have to sacrifice the things I’m good at simply because it makes you uncomfortable? The issue isn’t Pinterest, homemade versus store-bought, or fresh versus frozen. The real problem is that we’re feeling lost. We’ve intertwined our identities with motherhood to the point where we struggle to recognize ourselves.
The only way to find our way back is to be true to ourselves, even if that means creating bento box masterpieces that invite judgment or snarky comments from other moms. When I catch myself rolling my eyes and saying, “That’s so silly—why would anyone waste time on that?” I remind myself that it’s not my place to judge.
Because sometimes, I just enjoy creating things too.
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Summary:
The writer reflects on the pressures of modern parenting and the misconception that creative endeavors are a quest for perfection. They emphasize the importance of self-expression through crafting and cooking while encouraging parents to embrace their individuality. The piece advocates for less judgment among parents, highlighting the need to reconnect with one’s identity amidst the challenges of motherhood.