A Letter to My Childless Friend: I’m Sorry

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Dear Jessica,

I want to take a moment to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how our friendship has evolved, for the shifts in our dynamic, and for the way I’ve changed.

Motherhood has transformed me in ways I didn’t fully anticipate. You know this journey can be both thrilling and overwhelming. We both understood that becoming a parent would alter things—our conversations, our hangouts, even my punctuality. We accepted that I’d have to decline some invitations and that our chats would be shorter and less frequent.

But what I didn’t expect was the depth of this change. It’s not just about being “Mommy”—it’s a shift in who I am, day-to-day.

You still make the effort, visiting when you can, bringing delightful gifts for my little one, and most importantly, just being there. I cherish our conversations, even when they often get interrupted. Just as you start to tell me about your latest adventure or the latest drama at work, I’m darting off to rescue my daughter from scaling the furniture or redirecting her creativity from the walls to paper. I feel awful that so much of our time together is spent with me apologizing for my chaotic household.

Please know that my distracted demeanor isn’t because I don’t care. On the contrary, I genuinely want to hear about your life—your travels, your job, and everything in between. I’d give anything to have a moment of uninterrupted conversation, but between late nights, early mornings, and episodes of kids’ shows, I’m barely keeping my head above water.

I know it may not seem like I’m trying hard enough to maintain our friendship, and for that, I apologize. It’s challenging to focus when my mind is constantly running in circles around nap times and unexpected illnesses. I used to juggle a million things effortlessly, but now my priorities have shifted, and unfortunately, that means I’ve neglected some of my relationships—especially ours.

I’m truly sorry that our phone calls often revolve around my daughter and my parenting chaos. I realize it might feel like you’re just listening to me manage a toddler instead of engaging in a meaningful conversation. And yes, I know I bombard you with pictures of her. Sometimes, that’s the only way I can connect with you amidst the chaos of my new life.

I love you, Jessica. I love who you are, and I want to know how you’re doing. So I’m asking you to please keep reaching out. I know it’s unfair to put that on you, but I genuinely need your friendship.

When I seem distant or preoccupied, it’s not a reflection of my feelings towards you. It’s just me, a new mom still trying to navigate this whirlwind of parenting. But please believe me when I say I care deeply. I’m just trying to find my rhythm in this new role, and I hope to reconnect fully before too long.

Thank you for your patience and understanding. I promise I’m doing my best, even if it takes a little while to adjust.

With love,

Emily