In many ways, we find ourselves fortunate. Our schedule is relatively free of doctor’s appointments because there’s little that medicine can do for us. We’re not constantly in and out of hospitals, our child doesn’t have to face exhausting treatments, and we don’t have to witness them suffer in pursuit of recovery.
Time spent with our son, Max, is cherished, especially since we understand that our moments together are limited. This awareness has become a precious gift. The absence of a clear path forward has, in many aspects, brought us more joy than we ever imagined we could have. We’ve grown to appreciate the little things, realizing just how lucky we are in so many respects.
Yet, I can’t help but feel a pang of envy toward those children who have a fighting chance. I find myself wishing for their hope, for the treatments they receive, and for the possibilities that lie ahead of them. I feel guilty for these feelings, as I wouldn’t wish the hardships they endure on anyone. Losing a child is a heartache beyond compare. However, I would give nearly anything for the opportunity for Max to have a chance at life. Since that’s not in the cards, I’ll focus on making each day truly count.
You can follow Max’s journey at maxvschance.com or check out the wonderful insights at Kindbody, a fantastic resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, while hope can feel like a double-edged sword, it also reminds us to cherish every moment we have.