Ever since I became a mom six years ago, I’ve noticed a trend among parents that honestly makes me uncomfortable—no, more than that; it makes me upset. Some parents seem to wear their so-called progressive views like a badge of honor, believing they are open-minded and tolerant. But here’s the truth: teaching kids to be “colorblind” is not the answer—it’s a disservice.
A couple of years ago, I was waiting outside my daughter’s preschool when I overheard a little boy exclaim, “Mom! There are kids with brown skin in my class! Three of them!” His mom’s reaction was a sharp shush, clearly embarrassed and worried about what others might think. The boy was left confused, unsure why his excitement was met with silence.
Another time, after a Christmas Eve service, my family went to a nearly empty restaurant. A young girl, probably around five, wandered over to our table, intrigued by my two-year-old and my newborn, who has beautiful brown skin. “Hi,” she said, her curiosity evident. “Are those your kids?” I nodded, and her parents, realizing she was engaging with me, sat in shock, doing nothing.
Knowing she was eager for answers, I explained, “They’re adopted. They came from another mommy who couldn’t take care of them, so we love and care for them now.” She asked, “Do they see their other mommies?” It was a deep question for such a little one, and I was happy to answer.
These moments have repeated themselves countless times. From a boy at the park who couldn’t understand how I could be a mother to my black children to a cashier who hesitated before asking if my son was mine. Kids want to understand the world around them, including race.
Ignoring their questions or telling them to be quiet doesn’t help; it creates confusion and mistrust. If you preach colorblindness instead of embracing the truth—no matter how uncomfortable it may be—you’re overlooking a significant part of who children are. This robs them of their chance to appreciate and celebrate diversity.
So, the next time your child points out a family that doesn’t look like them or asks those tough questions about race, take a moment to breathe, pull up a chair, and engage them in an honest conversation. Kids are smart, and they deserve to know the truth.
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In summary, engaging your children in conversations about race is vital for their understanding of the world. Ignoring their curiosity only leads to confusion. Let’s embrace these moments with honesty and openness.