As soon as I learned the genders of my boys, my mind raced with possibilities for their names.
For my first son, choosing a name was easy: Benjamin. It was a heartfelt tribute to my late grandfather, who I cherished deeply. However, selecting a middle name became a bit tricky. I considered using my paternal grandfather’s name but also wanted to honor my husband’s grandfather, who had a special bond with him.
In a moment of excitement, we shared our name ideas with family. Oh boy, did everyone have something to say—strong opinions, emotional reactions. I understood their passion; after all, these were names tied to beloved family members. But I completely underestimated how insistent some family members would be about which names we should choose.
Ultimately, we settled on my husband’s grandfather’s name for the middle name. While we genuinely liked it, I also felt pressure and guilt that influenced our decision more than I anticipated.
Little did I know, this naming dilemma would be my first introduction to the barrage of unsolicited parenting advice that was yet to come. From sleep habits to feeding, everyone had their two cents to share, whether I asked for it or not.
As time passed, I grew a thicker skin and became more confident in my parenting choices, regardless of outside opinions. But somehow, when it came time to name our second child, I made the same mistake—I invited family into the conversation again.
Why Didn’t I Learn My Lesson?
This time, we weren’t naming a child after anyone who had passed away. We wanted something simple and sweet. Nothing outlandish like Rocket or Apple, just names like Simon, Charlie, and Peter. We were leaning toward Peter, especially since we had been reading “Peter Pan” to our older son, and it felt just right. You know how some names just click?
We casually mentioned “Peter” to the family, and while some liked it, others were indifferent, and a few outright hated it. I didn’t even ask for details; I was so taken aback by the harsh reactions that I excused myself, locked myself in the bathroom, and had a little cry.
It sounds dramatic now, but in that moment, I was sure our baby was meant to be a Peter, and I couldn’t believe how negatively it was received. Plus, I was super hormonal. That night, my water broke, and labor began with my little Peter.
While the name drama didn’t overshadow my birthing experience, it lingered in the back of my mind. When my son was born, with one eye shut from the goop and his cute little crooked jaw, we affectionately nicknamed him “Popeye.”
But when our older son came in to meet his new brother, he immediately asked what we had named him. He had also been part of our naming discussions, but I wasn’t sure how much he had been paying attention. When we told him we hadn’t decided yet, he looked at us like we were crazy. “His name is Peter,” he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
That sealed the deal, and we happily named him Peter. As for the family members who had disapproved? Once he arrived, they had nothing more to say. His name was set in stone, and there were no further debates.
I don’t completely blame my family for sharing their opinions on our name choices. They could have been a bit more open-minded, but we also put the names out there. Maybe we should have anticipated the responses.
In the end, the decision of what to name your child—like so many parenting choices—should rest solely with you and your partner. Ultimately, no one else’s opinion really matters. Most of us aren’t choosing names that are outlandish or harmful; we’re just picking a name for our little one.
If I could go back, I would keep all name choices to myself—no sharing, no asking for opinions. Just me and my partner making our own decision.
And if you’re curious about the journey to parenthood, you might enjoy this post about intracervical insemination. For more insights, check out Make A Mom, a great authority on this topic, and News Medical for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, sharing name choices before the baby arrives can lead to unwanted opinions and pressure from family. It’s best to keep those decisions private and trust your instincts as parents.