25 Things I Totally Forgot About Raising a Toddler

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According to old wives’ tales, mothers somehow forget the agony of childbirth almost instantly after holding their newborn. It’s as if the moment the nurse hands you your baby, all the pushing and contractions vanish into thin air, and suddenly, your world revolves around this tiny human. This concept may hold some truth; otherwise, we might think twice before going through it again. Yet, for me, that mantra didn’t quite apply. My discomfort lingered long after delivery—especially with a C-section—making recovery feel more like an expedition than a celebration.

However, maybe there’s some truth to that legend because here I am, back in the toddler trenches for the third time. You know what they say: sometimes, moms can be a bit forgetful when it comes to the chaos of parenting.

It’s not just the labor pains we forget. As we navigate the various stages of toddlerhood, those early, hazy days slip from memory. Each phase of a child’s life comes with its own set of challenges, and with each new experience, we seem to completely overlook the previous one.

So, whether it’s the newborn fog or the toddler tantrums, here are 25 things I forgot about having a toddler in the house:

1. Meal times take an eternity. With my youngest, every bite requires me to sit right there, spooning food into her mouth because she’s not quite mastered it yet. And don’t get me started on the picky eating!
2. Trusting a toddler is a joke. Just when you think you can turn your back for a second, you realize you can’t leave them alone with anything small enough to fit in their mouth.
3. They touch EVERYTHING. Seriously, everything.
4. Those grocery cart straps? They’re no match for a determined toddler. You’ll turn around to find them standing up, grinning from ear to ear.
5. The whining. Oh, the relentless whining.
6. Getting them to lie still for a diaper change is a wrestling match worthy of a title fight.
7. They start voicing their opinions, like demanding a bath at the most inconvenient times—and it doesn’t stop there.
8. At adult gatherings, they’re too mobile to contain yet too small to hang out with the bigger kids.
9. This means you’ll be shadowing them everywhere, ensuring they don’t touch everything in sight. Extra points if you’re at a non-kid-friendly house.
10. Baby gates become your new best friend, but oh, the bruises on your shins!
11. Don’t even get me started on car seats and strollers. They’re a total nightmare.
12. Your life becomes a fortress. Bathroom doors must stay closed, and cabinets require locks to keep those little hands out.
13. Once they’re on the go, finding a babysitter can feel like searching for a unicorn.
14. They have an uncanny ability to disrupt everything their older siblings are doing, leading to meltdowns all around.
15. And they will empty everything. Toys, drawers, you name it.
16. They have no regard for personal space, bulldozing through anything in their path, even freshly folded laundry.
17. Teething. That delightful phase that feels never-ending.
18. Doctor visits for vaccinations become a dreaded event. It’s a cycle of anxiety every few weeks.
19. They’re drawn to the dog’s food and water like moths to a flame. I’m convinced the dog’s kibble counts as a food group.
20. As they learn to walk, they fall. A lot. And never on soft surfaces, always on something hard.
21. You can’t leave valuables near the edge of a table or counter, or they’ll go missing faster than you can blink.
22. At the dinner table, you’ll need a wide buffer zone to avoid a mac and cheese disaster.
23. And despite your best efforts, you will still find yourself with a bowl of pasta in your lap and car keys mysteriously missing.
24. Spoiler alert: they usually turn up in the toilet.
25. Most importantly, I forget just how quickly this stage passes. Seriously, is there anything more tedious yet fleeting than toddlerhood?

When I look back, I also realize I forgot what life was like without those sweet toddler kisses and their little finger paintings decorating the fridge. But you know what? I’m okay with that.

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In summary, the experience of raising toddlers is both chaotic and beautiful, filled with endless surprises and challenges that make every moment memorable.