I Don’t Feel Guilty About Those Days When I Snap

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Parenting can be exhausting. There are times I push my kids, perhaps a bit too far, teetering on the line between wearing them out for a good night’s sleep and turning them into little tornadoes. With so many long walks, the excitement of a 4th birthday, and the joy of having a week off work, it’s easy to see how we all ended up tired. Without the routine of nursery runs or train schedules, I found myself giving in more often than usual.

So, there I was, feeling the weight of their exhaustion, and instead of being their soft landing, I turned snappy. Small things, like their reluctance to put on their coats or the dinner that ended up on the floor, pushed me over the edge. My reactions were anything but calm. I raised my voice and lost my patience over things that didn’t really matter. Watching them throw tantrums over minor issues, I felt equally annoyed rather than offering comfort. I didn’t scoop them up; instead, I snapped and grumbled, putting them to bed early and sitting quietly beside them, wishing for a peaceful end to the day.

After they fell asleep, I poured myself a drink and reflected on how I hadn’t exactly been my best self. I realized I hadn’t been kind, fair, or particularly motherly. They needed my gentleness, and I fell short. But you know what? I’m not going to beat myself up over it anymore.

It’s taken me a while to understand that it’s perfectly okay to take a break from being the calm and collected one. Sometimes, it’s just too much. Sometimes, it’s alright to feel frustrated when they spill their milk during playtime or when you’re late and they refuse to dress themselves. It’s human to feel overwhelmed, and it’s alright to show that it affects us.

After all, we’re all just trying to be those magical moms who handle every little crisis with a smile, who can answer every “why” and get everyone out the door on time. We’re doing our best, and that’s what counts.

I won’t feel guilty for those moments anymore. There will always be days that are tough, days that leave us feeling less than proud. But those days are rare and perhaps even necessary. I didn’t handle everything perfectly, and that’s okay. Maybe next time I’ll ease up on myself and the kids. Sometimes, we get so caught up in keeping everything running smoothly that we forget to slow down.

I might not always be their perfect protector, and that’s alright. The day is done, and we’re all okay.

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