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Help! I Married a Pack Rat
When I first met my husband, he lived in a neat one-bedroom apartment that gave me the impression he was a minimalist. Little did I know, there was a storage unit full of surprises waiting for me!
There were hints of his pack rat tendencies, like a prom mug from two decades ago that held a collection of promotional pens on his desk. I overlooked it because, let’s face it, I’m guilty of having a few too many things myself. I still have items with tags still attached, and my basement is home to scented candles that have been there for who knows how long. I even understand why someone might keep the protective plastic on their phone for a little while longer to keep it looking new.
While I may lean toward borderline OCD—trying to protect my treasured items—he has a different kind of issue. I call it “Save Everything Just in Case You Might Need It Syndrome.” We’re not quite at hoarding level (yet), but it’s getting close. If he finds a gadget he likes, he feels the need to buy several. We have a shop vacuum, a car vacuum, a handheld vacuum, a robot vacuum, and a few others that have bit the dust but are kept for parts. My current vacuum was even purchased from an infomercial he saw on a plane—because apparently, I needed all those attachments!
Then there are the air compressors—each designated for a specific task: one for bikes, one for car tires, and one for inflating the air mattress we might take camping someday, only if we ever buy a tent.
His closet is filled with stacks of V-neck sweaters he never wears, but they’re from his mom, so they stay. And don’t even get me started on the wires. I should have known better when I saw his high school yearbook with the quote, “I dream of someday building a supercomputer.” Wires are everywhere! They’re crammed into boxes in the home office, stuffed into glove compartments, and piled high in plastic bins in the garage. They’ve survived seven moves and made it through a cross-country relocation.
I can’t even begin to list all the types of cables we have: USBs, HDMI, coaxial, and even broken Christmas lights that may someday come in handy. I’ve made several attempts to declutter our wire collection by leaving them in strategic places, hoping he would take the hint. My motto is simple: “If it doesn’t have a name, it’s fair game—going, going, gone!” But I’m always met with a lengthy explanation of why each wire is essential.
“Good to have,” he says. Sure, he does tinker with them—climbing into the attic to connect wires and rigging various gadgets. The thermostat is even linked to a laptop that’s tied to a router connected to a cloud in the sky.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any more chaotic, his miniature drone collection arrived. I survived the model plane phase, but drones? Now we have transmitters and chargers taking over every outlet in the house. If one more quadcopter buzzes above my head, I might just lose it! But my husband, ever the tinkerer, will simply grab one of his countless tiny tools from the garage to fix it.
And fans? We have more than you could imagine—standing, box, tower, and even window fans. If you need to borrow one, we’re your go-to source!
On the upside, if an apocalypse ever strikes, we’d be well-equipped—until the power goes out, of course. But don’t even mention that; he’ll just start stocking up on generators and battery-operated gadgets.
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In summary, living with a pack rat can be a wild ride. While I may have my own quirks, my husband’s collection of gadgets, wires, and random items keeps life interesting, if not a bit cluttered.