It was the first date night for my partner and me since welcoming our little one, just 12 days earlier. After a lovely dinner, we decided to swing by the store for some baby essentials while our son snoozed peacefully in his car seat and our other five kids (hopefully) rested at home with a sitter.
As we neared the checkout, a woman joined the line, her grandchild babbling away in the shopping cart. Her husband stood behind her, beaming. I had just lifted the car seat cover to peek at my baby, which caught her attention. “Oh my goodness! You’ve got a newborn!” she exclaimed.
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied politely while my partner handled the transaction. But then her husband chimed in, “Oh, looks like she’s got another one on the way!”—proudly oblivious to the situation.
I’m pretty sure we heard the woman mumble, “Uh-oh,” as we struggled to keep our composure. The moment we stepped outside, we burst into laughter, which continued all the way home.
The next day, just 13 days post-birth, we stopped for an oil change at my partner’s go-to place. It’s a breeze since you stay in the car while they work their magic—no kids to unbuckle or chase after. The attendant, familiar with my partner but not with me, casually said as we were leaving, “See you soon, man,” then quickly added, “Not you; I’ll see you later.”
My partner rolled up the window, and I tried to stifle my laughter until he voiced what I was thinking: “After what?” Some guys just don’t get it.
But let’s not be too hard on the men; women can be just as clueless. I recall a woman we met at the park just a week after giving birth to twins three years ago. They were born six weeks early and were still in the NICU. Since we couldn’t take them out yet and one of my other boys had a birthday coming up, we decided to take the others to the park.
While they played, I started chatting with another mom. After discussing my boys, she gestured toward my postpartum belly and asked, “Is this one a girl?”
I chuckled, knowing the awkwardness was about to unfold. “Oh, no. I just had twin boys six days ago. They’re in the NICU.” She nodded, but then she asked, “So, when are they due?” I had to clarify again, and she apologized profusely before hurriedly leaving with her son.
Looking back to when my first child was born, those encounters would have bothered me a lot more due to my past struggles with body image. But now, I embrace the truth: a woman’s body goes through incredible changes when carrying a baby. The stomach doesn’t just bounce back overnight.
The uterus has nurtured a little one for nine months, and it takes time to return to its pre-pregnancy state. For a while, we may still sport a bump that could pass for pregnancy, and that’s completely normal.
So, when can you safely assume a woman is expecting?
Honestly, never. But if you’re feeling brave, here are a few tips:
- She isn’t holding a newborn.
- She tells you she’s expecting.
- She doesn’t mention having just given birth.
If you feel confident and she looks like she’s carrying a basketball and waddling—then maybe, just maybe, you could be right. But honestly? Just keep quiet. Better to be safe than sorry!
For further insights into pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on what to expect during your first IUI. And if you’re looking for fertility boosters, here is a great option!
In the end, remember that every woman’s journey is unique, and a little kindness goes a long way.