Updated: July 2, 2020
Originally Published: Jan. 18, 2016
Ever been strolling down the street when a stranger cheerfully tells you, “You should smile! You’d look so much prettier if you did!”? If you’re a woman, chances are you’ve been on the receiving end of these unsolicited comments. But why is it that so many men feel compelled to tell us how to express ourselves? This question was raised by a woman after a rather irritating encounter, which has since sparked a significant backlash.
Jessica Harper’s Experience
Jessica Harper, a popular figure known for her appearances on a reality show, faced a frustrating incident at a local gas station recently. When she attempted to buy some snacks, the cashier insisted that she needed to smile to receive her purchase.
“Just thirty minutes ago, I popped into a gas station for some Tylenol and gum. The clerk greeted me with, ‘Hey there, pretty lady.’ When I got to the counter, he said, ‘You gotta give me a smile if you want this,’ as he held my gum hostage in his hand. I told him, ‘No thanks, I just want the gum.’ Instead of ringing me up, he muttered something about my ‘bad attitude,’” she described on her social media.
Jessica, who boasts a following of over 350,000 fans, shared this experience to shed light on how women are often expected to perform emotional labor for strangers. The response was overwhelming, yet disappointing, with many people dismissing her frustration as trivial.
“Interactions like this are beyond frustrating and belittling,” she continued. “I wasn’t rude to this man; I don’t owe him a smile or an outward show of happiness. I was tired and had a headache, but even that shouldn’t matter. I don’t need to justify my emotions to a stranger.”
The Societal Expectations
Why should Jessica be expected to do anything more than pay for her gum? The expectation for women to be accommodating and cheerful is deeply ingrained in our society. One can only imagine if a tired man had been in her shoes; he likely wouldn’t have faced the same demands. This is a classic example of a “power play,” one that women often navigate.
What’s even more disheartening is the backlash Jessica received from some women who felt she was overreacting. With over 11,000 comments on her post, many suggested she should have just smiled in response to the clerk’s demand.
“Some people just like to cheer others up. Why not just humor him?” one commenter wrote. Another added, “Maybe he was just trying to brighten your day.”
Let’s recap: Jessica had a long day, stopped for a quick snack, and was met with a demand to smile. How is she being rude for not complying with this arbitrary request?
She concluded her post with a poignant question: “Would he have held a male customer’s items hostage until he smiled? I’d wager that the answer is a resounding no.”
Conclusion
In sharing her story, Jessica highlights an important conversation about how women are treated in everyday situations.
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Summary
Jessica Harper’s frustrating encounter with a gas station clerk highlights the ongoing expectation for women to smile on demand, a phenomenon that many women experience daily. Despite the backlash she faced for expressing her feelings about this incident, it underscores the broader conversation about societal expectations and gender dynamics.