Why I Believe in Letting My Daughter Learn to Stand Up on Her Own

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As a parent, I often find myself reflecting on how I approach raising my two kids. My son, when he was little and took a tumble, would get encouragement from people around him saying, “Get up! Shake it off!” But when it comes to my daughter, the reactions are quite different. Instead of being told to let her be tough, I often see people rush to her side whenever she falls.

My daughter started walking at just nine months old and is quite the little adventurer. She climbs, she runs, and yes, she falls more often than I can count! While I do my best to keep her safe, like discouraging risky climbs, she still finds ways to trip over her brother’s toys or her own feet. I’m usually right there, but I choose not to scoop her up every time she stumbles. If she’s not hurt, I encourage her with a simple, “You’re alright! Get back up!” And to my delight, she does! She brushes herself off and continues her playtime, often without showing any sign of distress.

Just recently, at a neighborhood block party, someone expressed their concern by saying, “You’re making me nervous!” because I didn’t rush to her aid after a fall. At home, our well-meaning neighbor would grab her before she could hit the grass, and my parents would call out for me to catch her during a stumble. It seems that the tendency to rush in and save her is more common than I expected.

But I firmly believe that letting her pick herself up teaches her valuable lessons about resilience and strength. Here are a few important things I want her to learn:

1. She is as Brave as Her Brother: Growing up, I saw how my own brother was viewed as the protector, and I want my daughter to understand that she possesses that same strength and courage. She might be little, but she can be just as brave.
2. Life Isn’t Always Fair: It’s a hard truth, but my daughter will face challenges and setbacks. I want her to learn that while life can be tough, the key to success is getting back up after a fall.
3. Independence is Important: Though it’s hard to think about her venturing out on her own, I know it will happen. I want her to gradually learn how to navigate the world independently, even if it means falling sometimes.
4. Failures Make Success Sweeter: Every stumble is an opportunity to grow. I want her to appreciate her successes even more after overcoming setbacks.
5. Crying is OK, but Not Always Necessary: My daughter comes from a family that’s emotionally expressive, and while I value that, I also want her to recognize that not every little issue requires tears.
6. She is More than Her Appearance: There’s often pressure to keep kids clean and pristine, but I want my daughter to understand that her worth isn’t tied to her looks or how tidy she stays.

Even though my heart wants to swoop in and comfort her at every fall, I know that teaching her how to get back up is essential—both literally and metaphorically. While I’ll always be her safety net when she truly needs me, I want her to learn that she can be strong and courageous on her own.

For more insights on parenting, resilience, and the journey of motherhood, check out this great resource on pregnancy.

In summary, letting my daughter learn to pick herself up is about instilling strength, independence, and resilience in her from an early age. It’s a delicate balance of support and allowing her to grow, which will ultimately make her more capable in the long run.