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Youth Suicide: Let’s Offer Them Hope
“I just can’t take it anymore. The voices are getting louder, and I feel trapped. It’s so hard, and I don’t want to continue living. Please, I need help.” As I sit across from her, her words resonate with a mix of desperation and sorrow, her tears streaming down her face. I notice her hands trembling; it’s the only thing she feels she can control in this tumultuous moment.
She manages to steady herself enough to respond to a few questions—the ones I dread asking as a school counselor. There are three key questions I start with. Sometimes, it’s easier just to dive in; they usually know what’s coming.
- “Are you thinking about harming yourself—about ending your life?”
- “Do you have a plan?”
- “Do you have the means to carry it out?”
Strangely, the last question is the hardest to ask. After 15 years of counseling, I know that if they have a means, it often feels like we’re standing on the edge of a cliff.
Every day, conversations like this are happening—whether in a counselor’s office, a classroom, or with a therapist, pastor, or friend. If someone is speaking up, there’s hope. The real tragedy lies with those who remain silent, those who have already answered those questions within themselves, and we lose them before they ever reach out.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there were 42,773 reported suicides in 2014, making it the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. On average, someone dies by suicide every 12.3 minutes. There is a clear link between depression and youth suicide; the CDC indicates that for individuals aged 10 to 24, suicide is the third leading cause of death, claiming about 4,600 lives each year. The most common methods among young people include firearms (45 percent), suffocation (40 percent), and poisoning (8 percent).
But remember, the issue extends beyond those who die; many young people survive their attempts. A nationwide survey for students in grades 9 through 12 found that 16 percent seriously considered suicide, 13 percent made a plan, and 8 percent attempted to take their own lives within the past year.
I distinctly recall one winter morning, the sunlight barely filtering into my office. I arrived to find a shadow seated in one of my chairs, unexpected at this hour. It was the one student I feared for the most—the one I thought about every night, wondering if I’d see him again. His head hung low, hands trembling, tears spilling as he looked up at me and said, “I almost did it last night.”
I wanted to jump into my routine of questions, but instead, I paused and listened.
“I was in my room with the gun. It was loaded, in my mouth, my finger on the trigger, and then I heard it—my mom. She just came home and called my name. I stopped.”
Even years later, my heart aches for him. His pain, isolation, and hopelessness were overwhelming, making suicide feel like the only option. I often think about that moment—the sound of his mother’s voice, the very thing that saved his life.
Time
We often discuss time with youth. Many express fleeting urges to harm themselves; if they can withstand it, they often find another day. If they lack access to means, they wake up the next morning. If someone interrupts their thoughts, they might get the help they need before those feelings return. A lifeline—someone to confide in—can make all the difference.
Trust
Finding one person they can trust, someone to be vulnerable with, is critical in our fight to save lives.
Connections
Human connection is powerful. When it seems no one understands, a simple gesture can initiate the journey toward help.
I don’t have all the answers, and I wonder if we’ll ever see a decline in youth suicides. The statistics are alarming, and every loss is one too many.
What I do know is that our youth need us. They need to see hope in our eyes and feel heard and accepted when they reach out. We must help them realize they are not alone in a world that feels so isolating.
We need to urge them to hold on. There is help, there is hope, and this is not the end of their story.
This article was originally published on Jan. 27, 2016.