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Now I Understand What Love Means
It’s hard to believe, but nine years ago I said “I do” to my amazing husband. Those years have been filled with joy, three beautiful children, countless adventures both at home and abroad, family changes, heartbreaking losses, three moves, and more takeaway curry and binge-watching reality TV than I care to admit.
I can still vividly recall that perfect day, surrounded by cherished family and friends. My parents took charge of the planning, and my husband, who had never attended a wedding before, was a bundle of nerves (thanks to an unexpected bachelor party the night prior). He shouted his vows, while I couldn’t hold back the tears as I recited mine.
Looking back at those wedding photos gives me a bit of a wobble. Sure, I’ve had three kids since then, and it’s a little tough seeing us younger and slimmer. But really, it’s the faces that are no longer with us that pull at my heart—the grandparents who have passed, including my grandmother who commented on how beautiful the day was, missing only “Our Jamie.” And my husband’s mom, radiant in her stunning hat, the price of which I’ll keep to myself (partly because I can’t quite remember it, especially after a few glasses of wine during our shopping trip).
The absence of loved ones drives me to savor every moment, even when I wake up feeling utterly drained. Life felt so simple back then; I thought I had it all figured out—marriage, parenting, everything.
The night before the wedding, I was back at my childhood home with my parents, watching The Muppets Christmas Carol (a family tradition). As I prepared to sleep in my sister’s room—just like I did as a scared child during storms—my mom handed me my “something old,” her own mother’s engagement ring, and said, “You think you love him more than anything now, but just wait a few years when the shine has worn off. Then you’ll truly know what love is.”
My sister and I burst into laughter, watching our dad hilariously balancing a mug on his chin. But as the years have passed, my mom’s words resonate more and more. So, to my husband, I reaffirm our vows:
To Have and To Hold
Remember those times when we held hands everywhere and spent cozy evenings on the couch? Me neither! Right now, you’re pretending to be asleep on the edge of the bed, a 4-year-old sprawled between us like a starfish. There’s a 2-year-old bouncing on my stomach and a 6-year-old narrating his FIFA match nearby. To have and to hold? I can barely reach you!
For Better or Worse
We’ve had plenty of good times, along with some challenges during our marriage—not just from my cooking! The joyful days have been a blessing to share with you, although your “face” in every photo is a bit of a running joke (seriously, all our wedding pics look like you’re holding in a fart!). There have been some tough days too, filled with losses that left us speechless. Yet, it’s those moments of hardship that have truly shaped us—when you’ve supported me, made me laugh, and held me up, even when you were struggling yourself. Please don’t ever change, even the quirks that make me roll my eyes; I wouldn’t want it any other way.
In Sickness and in Health
You’ve been by my side through countless medical mishaps—awkward moments in doctors’ offices, making me laugh during antenatal appointments, and holding my hair back during rough patches. I can’t forget the Great Chicken Pox Outbreak of 2007 or the time I slipped in the shower and ended up in the toilet (literally!). You’ve been there for everything, even when it was inappropriate to laugh (sorry about that!), and while you might not have a future in pediatrics, you are the perfect partner for me. You’re my yin to my yang, my Rose to my Jack Dawson. And like Helen Hunt’s character in Cast Away, I’d say, “You’re the love of my life!” (Imagine me saying that in a cute Texan accent!)
Until Death Do Us Part
We’ve made a pact: if one of us goes first, the other gets a week in Vegas with a friend to “get over” them. And yes, I realize that if I keep leaving teabags by the sink, that day may come sooner than expected!
Happy anniversary, my love. And, as always, my mom was right.
If you found this reflection enjoyable, check out our other blog post on home insemination for more insights on family and parenting. And for those exploring the options, Cryobaby’s home insemination kits are a fantastic resource. Additionally, for further information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit this support group.
In summary, love evolves over time, and through all the ups and downs, it’s the little moments of connection that truly define it.