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Please Be Patient with My Sensitive Son
I often find myself saying “no thank you” to invitations for our family. While it’s disappointing to miss out, I never regret the decision. Instead, I only wish I had said no during those times we said yes but shouldn’t have.
I have a sensitive son. Like many kids, he enjoys social activities—they’re exciting! But for him, they can also be emotionally overwhelming, and that stress trickles down to our family. Finding the right balance to enjoy outings while keeping him comfortable is a constant challenge. It sometimes feels like I’m walking a tightrope at a circus, and it seems like others often don’t quite grasp our situation. This leads to moments of disappointment for everyone involved.
I understand how easy it is to misinterpret our circumstances and set unrealistic expectations for my son. I used to be in that camp, too; I didn’t fully grasp the depth of sensitivity until I had my own highly sensitive child. Now, I realize sensitivity can manifest in various ways, and my son’s sensitivity is a whole different ball game. The real challenge isn’t my child; it’s navigating the expectations of others—the same expectations I once held.
People naturally assume more from him. Sensitivity in children isn’t always apparent, which makes it even harder to comprehend. I used to think sensitivity indicated a problem, but I now see that it often isn’t the case—he’s simply a sensitive soul, and that’s perfectly okay.
My son can easily become overwhelmed by noise and unexpected changes. He’s always observing and learning, which can drain him quickly. Interestingly, physical activities don’t tire him out as much as emotional and intellectual experiences do. Every child faces their own challenges with sensitivity, but it’s never simple.
From an outsider’s perspective, my son seems cheerful and outgoing—always smiling and eager to learn. However, engaging in social events takes a toll on him that other kids his age may not experience. He can absolutely visit the zoo or join birthday parties. He attends school and enjoys the park like any other child, but we have to plan carefully to keep his stress at bay. We try to limit big events to one per day and build in rest periods. It’s a delicate balance that often makes it seem like he’s not overwhelmed, but he definitely feels it.
When others overlook his sensitivity, it can be tough for both of us. I urge you to understand that even simple activities, like cooking pancakes together, can be quite stimulating for him. Those moments fulfill his morning needs more than you might realize. It’s hard to convey this when good intentions are at play, so your understanding would mean a lot.
Overnight trips can be particularly challenging for my son. I know it might seem like he handles it all well, but you didn’t see how he struggled after a fun weekend or how he reacted during busy holiday celebrations. The excitement can become exhausting, regardless of how it appears to others.
But let me be clear: being sensitive isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s a beautiful trait. My son experiences the world more fully, savoring every moment. His keen observations, empathy for others, and thoughtful demeanor are commendable. He builds genuine friendships and has an incredible heart. Whether he will outgrow this sensitivity remains to be seen, but it won’t hold him back.
We do feel a twinge of disappointment when we miss out on gatherings with friends, but we don’t have regrets. We make the most of our time, and we strive to enjoy every experience we choose to partake in. Sensitivity becomes an issue mainly when others fail to understand it, so a little patience can go a long way. If you have a sensitive child in your life, or even if you don’t, your understanding helps my son feel safe and thrive. You’re also supporting a mom who knows the bittersweet feeling of saying “no thank you,” but also recognizes the potential fallout if she doesn’t.
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Summary
Parenting a sensitive child can be a balancing act, filled with moments of joy and the need for understanding from others. While it may seem like saying “no” to plans is disappointing, it’s often the right choice to protect their emotional well-being. Sensitivity is a unique trait that can lead to rich experiences and deep connections, and a little patience from family and friends goes a long way in helping sensitive children thrive.