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The New Reality of Football Watching Parties After Kids
When I first met my husband at a local pub, we connected over the excitement of the New England Patriots clinching their first Super Bowl title. As a fellow Massachusetts native living in Washington, D.C., he charmed me with the promise of his satellite dish that would let us catch every single Patriots and Red Sox game from afar.
In those carefree pre-kid days, Sundays were a lazy bliss filled with Dunkin’ Donuts coffee in the morning and an endless supply of snacks and beer in the afternoon. Little did we know how good we had it. Fast forward a few years, and after watching countless games with our friends Mark and Lisa, we found ourselves wrangling four kids under four — and the contrast between our pre- and post-kid football viewing experiences became glaringly obvious.
Pregame
Pre-Kids: I’d enjoy a slow morning nursing my coffee while catching up on the Sunday paper and watching Meet the Press. I’d check the fridge to make sure we had enough cold beer.
Post-Kids: I chug a large coffee after a night of four wake-ups. I load and unload the dishwasher, recycle unread newspapers, and take the kids for a walk to story time. Then it’s off to Costco for beer, yogurt, fruit, milk, baby carrots, and chicken nuggets. I rush home just in time to toss some beers in the freezer to chill before kickoff.
Kickoff
Pre-Kids: I’d slip into my favorite jersey and settle into my usual spot on the couch.
Post-Kids: I search for the kids’ jerseys buried in the laundry pile from last week, give them a quick sniff, and throw them on the kids anyway. Then I hastily rig a gate across the stairs after a toddler tumbles while trying to climb them.
1st Quarter
Pre-Kids: I’d lay out an impressive spread of snacks on the coffee table, ensuring everything was within reach for an all-day grazing.
Post-Kids: I crack open a bag of tortilla chips and place them on the laundry counter, far away from curious little hands. I hear a beeping from the oven and remember the pizza I forgot about. I leap over the baby gate to save the one hot snack from burning, only to quickly scarf down a slice while a child clings to my leg.
2nd Quarter
Pre-Kids: I’d focus intently on the game as the first half wound down.
Post-Kids: I steal glances at the TV while fishing crayons out of a toddler’s mouth, setting up an indoor hockey game, and cleaning up mysterious spills. I groan at an interception, only to realize our team actually got the ball.
Halftime
Pre-Kids: I’d refresh drinks and snacks, taking a moment to chat with friends.
Post-Kids: I pour more milk into sippy cups that have mysteriously vanished during the first half, only to find them later, festering under the couch. I scan the room, asking, “Who pooped?” as kids point at each other in a diaper-changing emergency. I spot a piece of pepperoni with a preschool-sized bite discarded back on the cheese tray.
3rd Quarter
Pre-Kids: I’d snack some more and sip on another beer while keeping track of the score.
Post-Kids: I dump out a pile of Duplos for the toddlers and open up a pack of Magna-Tiles for the preschoolers. I mediate disputes over the building toys while gulping down a warm beer and asking my husband the score for the fifteenth time. I also try to stop toddlers from munching on cracker crumbs that have scattered across the floor.
4th Quarter
Pre-Kids: I’d be on the edge of my seat, yelling at the referees for bad calls and celebrating thrilling plays.
Post-Kids: I’m intercepting a toddler who’s making a beeline for the DirecTV receiver with a mischievous grin. I shout at the kids to stop climbing on the art easel and cheer quietly for my own parental heroics as I keep the chocolate cake safe from tiny hands. I bribe the kids with cake during the two-minute warning to buy myself a moment of actual football watching.
Postgame
Pre-Kids: We’d high-five each other, savoring a tense win.
Post-Kids: I get to high-five my toddler, my preschooler, and my husband — and honestly, that feels like a victory in itself.
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Summary
Watching football with kids completely changes the game. From pre-kid leisurely Sundays filled with snacks and focused viewing to chaotic, snack-stashing, diaper-changing marathons, the transition is eye-opening. Now, each game is more about keeping the kids entertained and ensuring they don’t eat the snacks than following the action on the field. But in the end, sharing those moments with the family feels like a win, too.