Why Valentine’s Day Isn’t So Sweet After Kids

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Before you had kids, Valentine’s Day was an exciting time filled with romantic surprises for you and your partner. It might have included a fancy dinner where you didn’t have to cut anyone’s food or wipe tiny bottoms. But those carefree days are long gone. Now, if you want to enjoy a little romance, you’re faced with the dilemma of hiring a babysitter and enduring an overpriced menu served by a waiter who clearly wishes he was elsewhere.

With children in the picture, Valentine’s Day becomes more about their festivities than your own. There are class parties, card exchanges, and the inevitable treats that you need to prepare. You’ll find yourself at the kitchen table, watching as they painstakingly write out cards for every classmate, which feels like it takes a lifetime. The party wraps up, but the hilarity of parenting shines through as you navigate this holiday with kids.

1. Let’s be honest: When you finally get a moment of peace, what’s the first thing you do? Check your phone. Nothing screams romance like the glow of a screen lighting up your partner’s face.
2. You’re practically doing other couples a favor by taking care of these kids. You’re like a walking, talking public service announcement about the chaos of parenting.
3. It’s time to admit that boys and men often don’t share the same enthusiasm for Valentine’s Day that many women do. For them, it’s just another day.
4. One of the perks of parenting is that your kids are like candy magnets. From Easter to Halloween to Christmas, and yes, even Valentine’s Day, they bring home plenty of goodies. And let’s be real—you’re obligated to help them with that sugar load to prevent tooth decay.
5. Didn’t we just do this? If you want to feel like time has stopped, just have your kindergartner write their name 22 times, along with their classmates’ names. You’ll feel like you’ve aged a decade by the time they finish.
6. Isn’t it ironic that a holiday about love falls in the middle of winter and flu season? Expect a ton of germs clinging to every treat your kid brings home, so get those Clorox wipes ready.
7. Preschool Valentine exchanges? What on earth is that? They can barely write their names, let alone understand what they’re doing.
8. Brace yourself for a late night. Just when you thought you’d recovered from the sugar highs of the holidays, here comes Valentine’s Day. Good luck prying the last candy from those sticky fingers.
9. After you’ve put in the effort to make this holiday special for your little ones, the least you can hope for is that someone remembered to get something nice for you.

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In summary, Valentine’s Day may not be the romantic getaway it once was, but it certainly brings plenty of laughs and memories when you celebrate it as a family. Embrace the chaos, and remember that love comes in many forms—even if it’s wrapped in a gummy bear.