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The Reality of a Mother’s Love
This post may not resonate with everyone, but for some mothers out there, these words are for you. I’m finally putting them down.
I am blessed with a delightful, healthy little boy, a true joy in my life. He embodies everything I hoped for and more. Every day, I strive to provide him with love, care, and support.
But the truth is, becoming a mother hasn’t transformed me into someone new.
I expected that it would. I thought I’d feel completely different. Instead, I’m still the same person who married a wonderful partner, enjoyed my work, cherished nights out with friends, and loved the luxury of sleeping in.
In the days following my son’s birth, I found myself waiting. I anticipated a wave of overwhelming feelings, the kind of love that other mothers described so passionately. But that tidal wave never came. I didn’t change; my world simply adjusted.
Whenever I worried that I was being too hard on myself, well-meaning friends would text me, asking things like:
- “Have you ever felt this much love?”
- “Isn’t it amazing how he makes your heart race?”
- “Don’t you finally feel complete?”
That’s what I thought motherhood would be—a deep, all-consuming love that completes you. But I soon realized I wasn’t that kind of mom.
I had already felt complete before my son arrived. My husband and I worked hard to conceive, and we planned and prepared for his arrival to ensure he’d be safe and nurtured. After 38 challenging weeks of pregnancy, his birth was a relief, but when he was placed in my arms, my world didn’t turn upside down; it merely adjusted to accommodate this new little person.
Still, I kept waiting for those feelings that would validate my identity as a mother. They never appeared. I felt like the same person, just with more responsibilities, a few extra wrinkles, and a new routine. The shame that accompanied my feelings was overwhelming. I felt like I was failing at motherhood because I didn’t experience the emotional transformation that others seemed to enjoy.
Fast forward 18 months, and I can confidently say I wasn’t failing. Motherhood is a mix of emotions—sometimes rocky, often exhausting, but ultimately rewarding. The changes in me have been subtle but significant. I’m more affectionate, understanding, and open-minded about the choices of other mothers. Yet I still feel like myself, and I’m proud of that.
I embrace who I am: a friend, a wife, and yes, a mother. I value my identity and the fact that I can show my son that I have interests, aspirations, and achievements beyond being his mom. I refuse to let societal expectations dictate my feelings or how I should express my love.
For me, for him, I’ll navigate this journey in the way that feels authentic to who I am.
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Summary
Motherhood is a unique journey filled with a myriad of emotions. While I expected it to change me, I’ve found that I’m still the same person, just with more responsibilities and deeper connections. It’s important to embrace your identity and navigate motherhood in a way that feels true to you.