Why We Decided to Have Our Kids Share a Room

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I must have really underestimated my sleep deprivation when I casually suggested to my partner one morning that our children should share a bedroom. Perhaps my blood sugar was dangerously low because the consequences of this bold decision have left me utterly drained yet surprisingly optimistic.

Let me explain. Growing up, my mom made my sister and me share a room for what felt like an eternity. We squabbled over everything from the ridiculous mess on her side, which inched closer to the duct-taped line I had set to mark my territory. I was too loud, she was too goofy; I was bossy, and she complained constantly. Our battles raged on until we finally got the freedom of our own bedrooms.

In an effort to prevent a similar chaos in our kids’ room, my partner and I decided to adopt a “shared space” approach, borrowing from his laid-back parenting style. The goal was to foster a sense of community, with most items being shared and the space serving as a lesson in teamwork and conflict resolution.

For a while, life seemed perfectly harmonious in our little bubble of optimism, but then reality hit hard.

Our kids, like all kids, have distinct personalities filled with their own preferences and needs, which rarely align at the same time. If one child wants a bunk bed, the other insists on having a bed on the opposite side of the room. If one is eager for green walls, the other suddenly detests the color and prefers ketchup red. When one wants a rug, the other prefers the floor to remain bare.

Miraculously, some compromises were reached. We ended up with bunk beds, allowing each kid to pick their own bedding theme, a carpet covers a portion of the floor, and the walls stayed a neutral beige.

Just as my partner and I thought we had navigated the rough waters, the kids spent their first week sharing the space and chaos ensued.

And when I say chaos, I mean this:

They turned pillow fights into epic battles, escalating to throwing stuffed toys, and culminating in a ceramic piggy bank crashing to the floor, scattering about $43 worth of pennies everywhere.

One child decided he wanted to change the beige walls and took it upon himself to “fix” the problem, using leftover paint from the living room—a sunny butter yellow—resulting in a slapdash “update” to his side.

The other child became terrified of the dark and refused to sleep alone, opting to join his brother in his bed every night. In classic sibling retaliation, the older brother resorted to sharing scary stories until tears ensued, followed by stomping down the hall at 2 AM, knocking on my door. Thanks, buddy!

Despite the mayhem, they have found common ground on a few essential roommate matters, and that gives me a glimmer of hope:

• Whenever I ask them to clean their room, they band together to shove everything under the bunk bed or cram piles of clothes into the closet. Problem solving!
• I love listening to their hushed conversations at night about important childhood matters—it warms my heart. Bonding!
• And when they both want something from me and I say no, they sprint to their room to devise a plan to charm or negotiate their way into a yes. Teamwork!

I believe childhood is fleeting. My kids have a limited time to absorb all the lessons they need to grow into respectful, responsible, and adaptable adults. By sharing a space, they have the opportunity to learn valuable life skills.

For now, as I dream of a bright future with two amazing sons out in the world, I’ll continue to mediate the most ridiculous disagreements—and I’m totally okay with that.

If you’re interested in more about family dynamics and parenting tips, check out this other blog post. For those considering home insemination, Make a Mom has invaluable information. Additionally, this resource offers excellent guidance on pregnancy and home insemination.

Summary

In the quest for our kids to share a room, we faced the challenges of distinct personalities and preferences, leading to chaos and creativity. However, through teamwork and problem-solving, they are learning essential life skills, while I navigate the amusing yet exhausting world of sibling dynamics.