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Special Needs or Not, I’m Still Just a Mom
I share my experiences as a parent navigating the world of special needs, but let me be clear: I’m no expert. Just because you know someone with a child who has a specific condition, like Sarah whose daughter has Down syndrome, or Kyle whose son is autistic, doesn’t mean they have a full understanding of what it’s like to care for a child with unique challenges, such as being tube-fed or relying on a wheelchair. It’s similar to expecting a person with cancer to fully grasp the complexities of living with schizophrenia or assuming that someone born without legs knows what it’s like to be deaf. Yet, when you mention that your child has special needs, some people mistakenly think you have a handle on every single aspect of it.
But it’s not that simple. Most of us aren’t medical experts, therapists, or special educators. Quite frankly, I never wanted to be any of those things. Growing up, I didn’t have much exposure to individuals with disabilities. I knew of one girl at church who had Down syndrome; she was delightful and always wore a smile, just like her parents. Meanwhile, I was the odd one out with my psoriasis and speech difficulties, which I now recognize as a phonological disorder mixed with an articulation issue.
I never anticipated having a child with disabilities. My family was relatively healthy, and the idea never crossed my mind. I was just a mom having another baby, the last one, and we had grand plans to travel the world once she was off to college. But then life threw me a curveball.
I was a mom who had always experienced babies who hit milestones early—crawling, walking, talking. So when my daughter, Lily, was slow to develop, I chalked it up to her being a late bloomer. That perspective changed drastically as I found myself grappling with blood draws, geneticists, and countless therapies. I was thrust into the world of special needs without any guide, other than that frustrating “Welcome to Holland” essay that only made me more agitated.
I spent sleepless nights researching possible causes for Lily’s challenges and preparing questions for doctors, terrified of both getting answers and remaining in the dark. I was a mom navigating the special education system, learning as I went along, and trying to figure out which battles were worth fighting. Along the way, I met incredible people who chose to dedicate their lives to helping children like mine.
On top of that, I was still a mom to my other kids, who each had their own hurdles to clear. I may know a lot about Lily’s situation—more than the average person about issues like constipation or developmental delays—but I’m no expert on all special needs. I can’t pretend to understand what it’s like to parent a child with severe autism or significant mobility challenges. I have no desire to be a doctor or a therapist; I’m just a mom.
What I do have is a wealth of knowledge gained through my experiences, and my journey has introduced me to other parents who share their own struggles and triumphs. We all juggle the everyday parenting tasks—like unloading the dishwasher, planning Halloween costumes, or dealing with morning wardrobe battles. We’re still parents at our core, navigating this extraordinary life together.
So yes, I’m an expert on my daughter, Lily, but that doesn’t make me an authority on all things special needs. I’m just a mom, and you can learn a thing or two just by listening to our stories and being open to understanding.
If you’re interested in more insights on parenting and fertility, don’t forget to check out this great resource on pregnancy and home insemination or explore our discussion about the fertility journey. There’s so much out there to learn!
Summary
Ultimately, being a parent means embracing the unexpected, learning along the way, and connecting with others who share similar experiences. While I may be an expert on my own daughter, I remain just a mom navigating this journey with love and resilience.