What My Child’s Affection for My Belly Has Taught Me About Beauty

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My youngest child has a particular fondness for my belly. To him, it’s a sanctuary, a comforting retreat. When he gets hurt, I pull him close, and he burrows into my chest and belly. He rests his little hand on my soft skin and says, “I rub your belly,” with a look of pure bliss on his face.

When he needs some quality time with me, his hand often finds its way under my shirt, resting on my stomach. He loves to examine it, play with it, leap onto it, and lay his head on it. As long as he can connect with it somehow, he’s happy. Just the other day, while cuddling in my lap, he declared, “Your belly my home.” (Cue my heart shattering into a million pieces.)

It’s true—my belly has been a home for all three of my kids, and in many ways, it still is. Ironically, some of the very features my children adore are the aspects I grapple with.

• The softness.
• The rolls that appear when I sit.
• The stretch marks.
• The way it squishes together like a prune.

These are the things society insists I should change, the imperfections that supposedly diminish my beauty. There are days when I find myself agreeing with that narrative.

I work out almost daily and take care of my body, but there’s no amount of planking that will erase the loose skin resulting from carrying three babies (two of them at once!). There are parts of my body that are just a part of my story. Sometimes, I feel self-conscious when I dwell on them.

Yet, daily, my kids remind me I’m beautiful. To them, I’m perfect. My sagging belly is their haven. They don’t care about my cellulite or those pesky belly rolls. They don’t see the flaws that I fixate on; they only see me—their mama.

It can be challenging to embrace the beauty our children see in us when we’re constantly bombarded by society’s narrow standards of perfection. It’s tough to remember that our worth isn’t defined by our appearance but rather by our hearts. However, I’m determined to trust my kids’ perspective over the damaging narratives, including the ones in my own mind.

We need to start believing the truths we share with our beloved little ones, even when we forget to extend that kindness to ourselves. Would we ever dare to say the harsh things we tell ourselves to our kids? How many pieces would our hearts break if we heard them speak negatively about themselves the way we do?

Our children are watching and learning from us, picking up cues about beauty and self-worth based on our actions and words. When our little ones, who see us as perfect, hear us criticize ourselves or witness our disgust when we touch our beloved bellies, we unintentionally convey unhealthy messages about beauty. We risk teaching them that their perceptions might be flawed, leading them to question their own worth.

They observe a woman they love calling herself ugly, labeling herself as fat, and criticizing her body for how it looks instead of appreciating its functionality. They might think, “If my mom sees herself this way, how could I possibly measure up?” This internal conflict can lead our daughters to mimic our behaviors, developing negative body images, while our sons may start to reshape how they perceive women.

Beauty standards begin at home. If we heard our kids speak negatively about their bodies as we do, it would tear us apart. We would rush to defend them, countering their negativity with all the beautiful truths we see in them. We would move mountains to ensure they never think poorly of themselves, not because we’re idealistic, but because we recognize their true worth—perfect in their imperfections.

So let’s stop arguing with our children about the beauty they see in us. Instead, let’s embrace the truth that they are right—we are perfect as we are. Let’s no longer send the message that they are flawed and need to change. Let’s start believing the same truths we so freely share with them.

Let’s view our imperfect bellies, with their soft spots and extra rolls, as the cherished homes of our most precious people. Let’s appreciate our bodies for the life-giving miracles they are and release the unrealistic standards of perfection dictated by the world.

In the eyes of our children, we are indeed perfect. They know only honesty and truth until we teach them otherwise. They don’t assign value to body parts until we show them how. So let’s love ourselves as fiercely as we love our children, and as they love us in return.

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Summary

This article reflects on the deep connection between a mother and her children, particularly through the lens of body image and self-acceptance. The author shares how her children’s love for her body, including imperfections like stretch marks and softness, challenges societal beauty standards. By prioritizing self-love and embracing the beauty seen by their children, mothers can foster a healthier narrative about body image, ultimately building a more positive environment for their kids.