Having a child transforms your life in countless ways—many of which are not exactly ideal. One of the main reasons I began sharing my parenting journey was to express the exasperating ways my little one has compelled me to adapt my lifestyle, while also proving that parenthood doesn’t have to overhaul everything. Yes, becoming a parent alters capital-E Everything, but it doesn’t need to change little-e everything.
So far, my partner and I have done a decent job of preserving some aspects of our former lives, even as the relentless, everyday presence of our (now) toddler has led to necessary—albeit inconvenient—adjustments. We’ve been holding up well, but we can’t escape all the chaos. Here are six ways my toddler has turned my life upside down:
- Sleep. Obviously.
- Food. I used to enjoy eating whatever I fancied, whenever the mood struck. Then I got married. A few years later, I became a parent. Now, every time I open the pantry, my kid spots a snack and goes into full meltdown mode until he gets it. Even during dinner, when we’re all having the same meal, he insists on having what’s on my plate, even though he has the same thing in front of him. I once thought he was just being silly, but now I realize he’s simply in the early stages of claiming everything that’s mine as his own—for the long haul, just because he can.
- Entertainment. I used to enjoy watching and listening to whatever I pleased. After getting married and then having a child, my viewing habits took a nosedive. Not only do I rarely make it to the cinema, but I also have to stash away anything remotely inappropriate (you know, violence, bad language, or adult themes) when at home. Instead, I’m stuck enduring the shows he loves and filling my DVR with episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba! and Caillou—the latter being the most infuriating TV show of all time.
- Intimacy. I used to have the freedom to engage in intimate moments whenever I desired. Then I got married, and soon after, I had a child. Now, my partner and I are left with three options: 1) early morning when we miraculously wake up before our son; 2) bedtime, if we’re not too exhausted to even share a kiss; or 3) during his nap, provided he doesn’t wake midway and start crying, which utterly ruins the mood. I can usually push through, but my partner’s interest tends to vanish.
- Drinking. Thankfully, my toddler isn’t at the stage where he asks awkward questions about alcohol, like “Can I have some?” or “Are you an alcoholic?” or “Why do you hate your life?” However, with a little one around, my nights out drinking have substantially decreased, and I find myself needing to moderate my intake. The hangover situation? A thousand times worse. Plus, day drinking is nearly impossible, either because I’m hanging out with him or have to deal with him when we get home after the babysitter leaves. Trust me—my toddler does not need to have dinner after I’ve spent six hours enjoying drinks in the sun.
- Being a Fool. I used to jaywalk, speed, and curse at other drivers while racing through traffic. I used to ignore flu shots and sleep in until noon for no reason at all. All sorts of reckless behavior was my norm. Then came marriage, followed by a kid.
Don’t get me wrong: I still manage to pull off some level of foolishness now and then. Honestly, I’ve never been happier. When it comes to having kids, the positives definitely outweigh the negatives. But some days, that balance feels precariously close.
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In summary, while parenting can feel like a whirlwind of challenges that turn your life upside down, it’s also filled with joy and laughter that makes it all worthwhile.