Sex as a Reward for Household Chores? Ladies, Really?

home insemination Kit

“Is there anything more attractive than a partner doing the laundry?”

“My significant other took care of the kids while I ran errands. I guess I owe him a special favor!”

“My guy vacuumed. Wow, that’s a major turn-on!”

Wait, what?

I can’t help but wonder why I keep hearing comments like these. Why are there endless articles and amusing videos promoting this idea? According to popular opinion, there’s nothing sexier than a man pulling his weight around the house, and somehow, it’s up to his partner to reciprocate with sexual favors.

Honestly, I don’t get it. When I see my partner doing the dishes, I feel… nothing. That’s exactly what we should feel when the person we share a home with contributes equally. We shouldn’t have to summon excitement or gratitude for basic responsibilities. It should be more like, “Oh, look, a human being doing their part. Cool, let’s move on with our lives,” rather than “Hooray! The guy did the dishes! Quick, let’s throw a parade!”

Sure, my partner sometimes leaves his dishes piled up like they’re waiting for a magical fairy to clean them. I doubt he actually thinks I should handle his chores. It’s not like he’s a child expecting someone else to pick up after him, right?

I could easily take a few minutes to load the dishwasher and wash the hand-washables, but instead, I shot him a text saying I wouldn’t be washing his dishes. So, call me empowered or petty; either way, I’m sticking to my guns. The key point here is that this situation shouldn’t be about sex.

Or maybe it is, just a tad. I’ll admit, seeing those dirty dishes makes me less inclined to be intimate. It’s easy to see why society has come to link a husband’s participation in chores with heightened arousal, but we’re missing the mark entirely.

There’s a concept known as necessary and sufficient conditions, which applies here. When men began helping out at home, it seems women were so relieved to share the load that we started thinking we should reward them with sex. Over time, we’ve mistakenly equated household contributions with sexual favors:

• Husband does his part = Husband gets lucky
• Husband doesn’t do his part = Husband might still get lucky

This logic is flawed. Housework participation is necessary but not sufficient:

• Husband does his part = He might get lucky, but not necessarily due to cleaning
• Husband doesn’t do his part = Wife’s interest plummets

The reality is that even if my partner did his dishes, it wouldn’t make me want to jump into bed with him. Dishes are not my idea of a turn-on.

Supporters of this “Housework Equals Horny Wives” theory might argue, “What if he did even more? What if he cooked dinner or swept the floors? Doesn’t he deserve a little reward?” Nope, still not feeling it.

I just don’t see household chores as the path to romance. However, neglecting those chores? That certainly puts a damper on my interest.

It’s essential to clarify that while housework is necessary, it doesn’t automatically translate to passion.

If I were a guy, I’d be offended by the notion that sex should be a reward for mundane chores. I would feel insulted at the implication that I need sexual motivation to do what’s expected of me. I’d much rather be desired for the thrilling stuff, like saving a cat from a tree or just because we genuinely love each other. Sure, I’d still want to help out around the house, but I’d prefer intimacy to be spontaneous and not contingent on who did the dishes.

In summary, the idea that sex should be a reward for household chores is misguided. While sharing responsibilities is important for a healthy relationship, it shouldn’t be viewed as a transaction. Genuine connection and intimacy should be based on love and mutual respect, not a chore chart.

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