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It’s Not Your Responsibility to Discipline Another Person’s Child
We’ve all experienced the cringe-worthy moment when a child misbehaves in public. If the parents are too busy to address the situation, should you step in? The short answer: no. The longer, emphatic answer: absolutely not.
This topic ignited a fierce debate after Linda Parker, a broadcaster and mother of two, shared her experiences with correcting other people’s kids on the show Morning Chatter. Linda expressed her occasional urge to discipline others’ children, recalling a time in a theater when a child incessantly kicked her seat. After giving the kid multiple pleading glances, she finally turned to the parent and said, “Could you please get him under control? This is quite annoying.” To her dismay, the parent replied, “Oh, he just gets bored at the movies.”
The host of Morning Chatter, Jenna Smith, chimed in with her own stories of intervening when parents don’t. She recounted a scenario where she told a child knocking shoes off a display in a store, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you; those ladies will have to clean up after you and they’ll be upset.” To her surprise, the child’s mother overheard and snapped back, “Who do you think you are talking to my child like that?”
While these encounters can be frustrating, it’s crucial to remember that you have no idea what’s happening in a family’s life. When you step in to discipline a child in front of their parents, you’re sending a clear message: “You’re failing at your job, so I’ll do it for you.” You might think you’re right, but what if you’re not? Maybe that child has underlying behavioral issues, or perhaps that parent is already stretched to their limits. You don’t know their story, and your unsolicited intervention can feel patronizing.
As parents, we should strive to extend a little grace to one another. Sure, there are parents who seem oblivious to their child’s misbehavior. However, jumping in to correct a child assumes that these negligent parents are the norm. You might be betting on the idea that you’re witnessing a bad parenting moment, when in reality, the situation could be much more complex.
Correcting someone else’s child is indeed a gamble. You might find that the parent is grateful for your help, but let’s be real—how often have you looked to a stranger to discipline your child? I’d guess not very often. So, it’s hardly surprising when a parent feels annoyed by your unsolicited advice.
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Summary
It’s essential to recognize that intervening in another parent’s discipline can lead to misunderstandings and resentment. While it can be tempting to step in when a child misbehaves, we should consider the complexities of each family’s situation and extend empathy rather than judgment.