Feb. 21, 2016
Adult friendships can be downright perplexing. As kids, making friends is refreshingly simple: “Hey, nice shirt! Want to hang out?” And just like that, you’re off to a day of fun, possibly convincing your mom to let your new buddy move in. Fast forward to adulthood, and it’s more like: “Hey, nice shirt,” followed by an awkward shuffle away as they think you might be a weirdo.
However, as we go through our daily routines, we start to see familiar faces, making it easier to transition from “Hi” to “Let’s be friends!” Once you have kids, it becomes a lot less daunting. “Hey, Frankie talks about Jordan all the time! Want to grab coffee and let them play together?” This approach shifts the focus to the kids, making it less about you and less likely to lead to awkward rejection.
If you’re like me—an extrovert with multiple kids and hobbies—you’ll eventually find yourself categorizing your friendships. Here’s how mine stack up:
- The Lifelong Besties
These are your ride-or-die friends, the ones who you might not see for months, yet it feels like you just had a cozy chat over coffee yesterday. You can easily imagine retirement road trips to RV parks with them!
- The Baby Bump Crew
You shared the joys (and struggles) of pregnancy at the same time. Who better to vent about those new stretch marks and unexpected cravings than fellow mamas in the same boat? But as the kids grow, those connections might fade.
- The Preschool Parent Posse
These are the moms you initially befriend for the sake of your kids’ playdates. Nothing feels quite as comforting as seeing another mom struggling with her rowdy boys while you wrestle yours. A quick SOS text can lead to a much-needed adult conversation over lunch.
- Friends Through Friends
These connections often come from being introduced by mutual pals. Sometimes you hit it off, and other times, they’re just acquaintances. But when it works, girls’ nights and holiday gatherings get a delightful upgrade.
- Couple Friends
These are essential for maintaining a happy spouse and a social life. Finding a friend whose partner your significant other enjoys hanging out with is pure gold. The guys can chat about sports while the ladies sip cocktails and supervise the chaos.
- Co-Worker Wives
No one understands the trials and tribulations of your husband’s job like the wives of his colleagues. While you can share with any friend, the co-worker wives get it without needing a lengthy backstory.
- Extracurricular Moms
These are the parents you meet while shuttling kids to activities like soccer or dance. I never thought I’d fit into this category, but cheering on our little ones has created unexpected bonds. Having support from women who share the same concerns about raising kids in today’s world can be a lifesaver.
I may not have a single best friend who knows every little detail about my life, but I do have a diverse circle of women experiencing the same stages of motherhood. Through our shared joys, challenges, and laughter, I find all the friendship I need.
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Summary: Navigating friendships in motherhood can be easier when you focus on shared experiences, especially with kids involved. From lifelong besties to fellow extracurricular parents, each friendship serves a unique purpose. Embracing these connections can provide the support and camaraderie we need during the ups and downs of parenting.