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How Motherhood Transforms Friendship
We all have that one friend—the ride-or-die who has weathered every storm with you. She’s the one who stood by your side during heartbreaks, held your hair back after too many cocktails, and shared a laugh the next day about your shenanigans. She’s celebrated your milestones, cheered for you when you landed your first real job after years of waiting tables, and was ecstatic when you finally met “the one.” She’s your confidante, your go-to gal.
Lifelong friends are privy to your secrets, emotions, and all the embarrassing moments you’d rather forget. Together, you’ve shared laughter, tears, and countless memories. However, as life evolves, few changes are as monumental as welcoming your first child. If you have a friend who insists that having a baby won’t alter your relationship, it might be time to reconsider that friendship. Trust me, becoming a parent shifts everything.
I was once that person who thought my friendships would remain unchanged after having a baby. Oh, how wrong I was! Some bonds deepen, while others may weaken significantly—so much so that you might find yourself saying goodbye to certain friendships altogether. Conversely, some relationships become utterly unbreakable.
When I envisioned bringing my baby home, I pictured blissful moments. Reality, however, hit me like a freight train. The first few weeks? Pure chaos! There was the relentless sleep deprivation, sore, cracked nipples, and the struggle to find a moment to pee without tears. Did I mention the lack of sleep? If I could wish anything on my worst enemy, it would be the trifecta of sleepless nights, painful breastfeeding, and a newborn who refuses to settle.
The moment I got home from the hospital, I felt utterly overwhelmed. As a mom-to-be, I had boasted about my birth plan and my commitment to breastfeeding. Note to self: don’t vocalize your plans too loudly; the universe has a funny way of laughing at them. Breastfeeding turned out to be a Herculean task for me. My milk supply was stubbornly low, and my nipples were in agony. My son had acid reflux, making the entire experience feel like an uphill battle.
With my husband working long shifts as a fire lieutenant, I often found myself alone—really alone. I was not just bored; I was enveloped in loneliness that made me question how to survive those exhausting days.
One particularly tough night, as I sat with my wailing newborn and my dog giving me that “you’ve got this, right?” look, I reached for my phone and dialed my best friend, Sarah. When she answered, I lost it. All I could manage to say through my tears was, “This is so much harder than I imagined. I feel so lonely, and he won’t eat, sleep, or stop crying!”
Just ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Standing there was Sarah, armed with a bottle of wine, nipple cream, and the biggest smile. In that moment, I realized I could not have been happier. If a publisher’s clearing house representative had shown up with a giant check, I might have shut the door and collapsed in tears. Instead, it was her, my lifelong friend, reminding me that while motherhood brings changes, they aren’t all bad.
She stepped inside, gently swaddled my son, and somehow got him to drift off to sleep. As she poured the wine and handed me the nipple cream, we shared tears that quickly turned into laughter. We chuckled about how, out of everything we had experienced together, this was the wildest adventure yet.
That night taught me two invaluable lessons: wine and nipple cream are like treasure in the early days of motherhood and that babies truly change everything. However, not all change is detrimental. My friendship with Sarah would never be the same, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.
If you found this article relatable, check out our other blog posts for more insights on parenting and friendships. You can also explore useful information about home insemination in this article, which discusses various aspects of pregnancy and family planning. For those interested in at-home insemination kits, visit Make a Mom, the authority on this topic. Additionally, for excellent resources related to pregnancy, you can refer to this ASRM page.
Summary
Motherhood dramatically alters friendships, revealing who will step up when the going gets tough. While some relationships may falter, others can strengthen in unexpected ways. Embracing these changes can lead to deeper connections, as demonstrated by the author’s experience with her lifelong friend during her challenging early days of motherhood.