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Don’t Tell Girls to ‘Be Careful,’ Teach Them to Embrace Risks
It’s perfectly fine to have a healthy relationship with fear, but are we inadvertently teaching girls to be fearful? If life is about taking calculated risks, are we setting our daughters up for failure by instilling a sense of caution instead of courage? Absolutely.
Research indicates that girls are often conditioned to play it safe rather than confront their fears. A study published in The Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology found that parents issue warnings to their daughters about the dangers of activities like climbing down a fire pole far more frequently than they do for their sons. Not only that, but parents tend to help their girls more while encouraging their boys to figure things out independently. The study suggests that “parents communicate to young children in ways that may promote greater risk taking by boys than girls.”
Instilling self-doubt in girls from such a young age creates a pattern that perpetuates the notion that women should be apprehensive about challenges that men tackle head-on. Caroline Paul, a pioneering female firefighter in San Francisco, explores this concept in her article for The New York Times, “Why Do We Teach Girls That It’s Cute to Be Scared?” Every time she mentioned her job, people would ask, “Aren’t you scared?” I faced similar reactions when sharing my career in journalism, especially when covering breaking news. Despite my explanations about how first responders manage risky situations, the most common response from women was, “Oh, I could never do something like that.” What other barriers are we subconsciously building for girls and women?
During my time as a Girl Scout, I often found more excitement in attending my brother’s Boy Scouts meetings. While the boys learned skills like gun safety and knot tying, my girlfriends and I were earning badges in sewing and cooking. While those skills are undoubtedly useful, we were being taught to fear the more adventurous activities instead of how to navigate potentially risky scenarios. This mindset often sticks with girls as they transition into womanhood, preventing them from seizing opportunities that carry uncertain outcomes.
In many cases, the road to success—both professionally and personally—requires taking risks. Successful women frequently cite risk as a key element in their achievements. Heather Rabbatts, the first female non-executive director of The Football Association, once said, “You only learn when you are at risk, and I’m fascinated by both risk and learning.” This perspective led her to accept roles that others deemed impossible.
Instead of telling our girls to be careful, we should encourage them to face their fears and flourish in spite of them. If we foster a sense of bravery in our daughters from a young age, they’ll be more likely to make bold choices later in life. For more insights on this topic, check out this post on the terms and conditions of our blog.
In summary, it’s critical that we shift our approach to raising girls. By teaching them to embrace risk and uncertainty, we empower them to pursue their dreams without fear. It’s time to cultivate courage in our daughters!