Living with anxiety can feel like you’re trapped in a never-ending video game where every corner hides a new fear. I’ve been navigating the tricky terrain of panic attacks and anxiety since I was about 8 years old. As a child, I was the model student—smart, compliant, and adored by teachers. Yet, I was convinced that I was always on the brink of being wrongfully accused of something absurd. Did a kid scribble on the wall? I was sure all eyes pointed my way. “No trading Pokémon cards at recess!” the teacher shrieked, and I was convinced my innocent presence was enough to draw suspicion.
As a teen, phobias crept in. Suddenly, planes seemed like flying coffins, crowded places felt like the set of a horror film, and the thought of mass shootings haunted my thoughts. Fast forward to my 20s, and I tried cognitive behavioral therapy, embraced yoga, and dabbled in meditation. While some of my fears faded, new ones took their place—like a game of Whac-A-Mole that never ends.
Now, as a mom, my anxiety manifests differently. I worry less about my kids getting hurt (though many parents do experience that heightened fear) and more about whether I can juggle the complexities of motherhood. Mornings can be a minefield when school is looming, and if I’m under the weather, the thought of managing the day feels like an Olympic event. Financial worries? Don’t get me started. And yes, even worrying about my anxiety has become a familiar companion.
Anxiety runs in my family, and while certain childhood circumstances might’ve fueled my fears, I believe some of it is just in my DNA. I’m wired to be intense, detail-oriented, and sometimes, a bit obsessive. Those traits can lead to some amazing accomplishments, but they can also make me feel like I’m suffocating under the weight of my thoughts.
From the outside, I may appear calm and composed, but trust me, inside there’s often a storm brewing. Many of us who battle anxiety look like successful, functioning adults—at least until the panic hits. The true struggle lies in the invisibility of anxiety. It’s a whirlwind of racing thoughts trapped in your mind, which can be hard for others to grasp. When our fears seem irrational, it’s tempting for well-meaning friends to just present us with logic and expect us to move on. But when anxiety strikes, that’s the last thing we want to hear.
What Not to Say to Someone Dealing with Anxiety
- “But you don’t seem anxious.”
Just because we appear composed doesn’t mean we aren’t battling our inner demons. Dismissing our feelings only adds fuel to the fire. - “That’s not really something to be afraid of.”
Sure, our fears might seem trivial from the outside, but they feel massive to us. No need to highlight the irrationality; we already know! - “This medication or method is the answer for you.”
There’s no universal solution for anxiety. What works wonders for one person may not do a thing for another. It’s a highly individual journey! - “Just snap out of it.”
If only it were that easy! Anxiety is a full-body experience; snapping out of it is like telling someone with a broken leg to just walk it off. - “I understand. I worry sometimes too.”
Ah, the difference between regular worry and full-blown anxiety is like comparing a gentle breeze to a hurricane. They’re not the same! - “But you have so much to be grateful for.”
True, we do appreciate the good things, but our worries are still valid. Guilt doesn’t help, so let’s skip the guilt trip.
If you care for someone grappling with anxiety, the best thing you can do is listen. True listening means setting aside your phone and stepping into their world. It’s about creating a safe space for them to express their fears without judgment. A gentle touch or a hug (with permission, of course) can work wonders too.
And if you’re navigating your own anxiety, seek out those who provide that kind of support. If someone makes you feel worse about your anxiety, it’s perfectly okay to distance yourself. Prioritize your mental peace, and remember, it’s possible to find effective ways to manage anxiety, whether it’s therapy, exercise, or a supportive community.
Above all, you deserve time and care to feel better, and remember—you are definitely not alone. If you’re interested in further insights on this topic, check out this post for more information on navigating through life’s challenges.
Summary
Anxiety can feel overwhelming and isolating, but understanding what not to say can help create a supportive environment. Instead of dismissing fears, embrace listening and compassion. Remember, each person’s experience with anxiety is unique, and finding the right support and coping mechanisms is crucial for managing it effectively.