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The Baby Teeth Dilemma: What on Earth Should We Do With Them?
When it comes to parenting, one key difference between those with kids and those without is the potential discovery of human teeth. In a child-free home, stumbling upon a stash of baby teeth might raise eyebrows and prompt thoughts of something sinister rather than a whimsical visit from the Tooth Fairy.
Recently, while tidying up, I found baby teeth scattered like confetti. It was reminiscent of being in the home of a fictional character from a thriller. I unearthed molars, tiny incisors, and a couple of canines in the junk drawer, nestled atop my bathroom vanity next to floss and concealer, and even in a quirky kitchen holder meant for change. They were everywhere!
Being the Tooth Fairy was a delightful experience when I was new at it. I fondly recall tiptoeing into my first child’s room, gently cradling that sweet little head while slipping an envelope filled with glitter, a heartfelt note on parchment, a few strands of unicorn mane, and a crisp dollar bill under the pillow. That was a magical moment with my firstborn, and I tried to keep the charm alive for my second, but by the time my fourth child came along, it was a whole different game. William simply handed me any tooth that fell out, and I would give him whatever random change was in my purse. For his last tooth, he received a coupon from Subway—hey, it’s the thought that counts, right?
Now that the kids are growing up and my mind is preoccupied with more pressing issues—like lost innocence, forgotten FAFSA passwords, and ever-elusive remotes—I find myself pondering what to do with all these teeth. Should I toss them in the trash? Bury them in the backyard? I know from my fair share of crime shows that teeth don’t decompose easily. Can you imagine the FBI showing up at my adult children’s homes years later after discovering a collection of their teeth in a landfill or buried in the yard?
I could get crafty and create some sort of macabre art project, like a mosaic or trivet, but let’s be real—I don’t even own a glue gun. In moments of uncertainty, I often wonder, WWMD? (What Would My Friends Do?). I know the answer: they’d toss those teeth in a heartbeat. But I can’t bring myself to do it—not yet, anyway. Perhaps it’s my sentimental side or the fact that I hail from a long line of collectors. Who’s to say?
For now, I’ve gathered the baby teeth from their various hiding spots and stashed them in a baggie, tucked away in a dresser drawer. It’s quite the unusual collection, sharing space with my forgotten lingerie—let’s just say those teeth will remain undisturbed for a while.
Please tell me I’m not alone in this! I can already hear the awkward conversations: “What? You didn’t keep the umbilical cord stumps, either?” Yikes.
This article was originally published on February 28, 2016.
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Summary:
This article humorously explores the conundrum of what to do with baby teeth after they’ve fallen out. From delightful Tooth Fairy moments to the practicalities of storage, it captures the sentimental struggle many parents face when deciding the fate of these tiny treasures.